Maybe I like the walk.
SHAE:
Maybe I’m excellent company.
GUARD:
That too.
SHAE:
We’re both breaking policy. How romantic.
GUARD (smiles through his nose):
You joke when you’re nervous.
SHAE:
No. I joke whenyou’renervous.
GUARD:
Maybe I’m not— Look, you’re making progress. Group says so.
SHAE:
Group is a circle where we learn to cry on the beat. You know what the facilitator called me?
GUARD:
What.
SHAE:
“Hyper-adapted.” Isn’t that adorable? A nicer way to say,I survived the way your Bible says not to.
GUARD:
You’re not helping yourself talking like that.
SHAE:
I help myself by being agreeable to whoever holds the door. Right now, it’s you.
GUARD:
The door you want is a judge’s.
SHAE:
Judges are men like you—starved for a woman who looks them in the eye and says, “I need you.” Congratulations. You’re universal.
GUARD:
Don’t do that.
SHAE (innocent):