“Okay, then.” She finished off her wine. “Just checking.”
“Look, Ramsey, why don’t you finish what you started explaining before the interruption.”
“Are you sure you want to hear?” When he nodded, she began again. “As I was saying, I want to sleep with you, but I don’t want that to be an expectation at the end of a date.”
“And you think I have that sexpectation?”
She grinned a little crookedly. “Stupid word.”
“Hmm. Am I right? You thought after our last date I was anticipating the same again?”
“Are you saying it didn’t occur to you?”
“I can’t say that, but it’s damn sure not a requirement. I like spending time with you. Whatever happens between us should happen naturally. Nothing forced. Going out together is not a prelude to sex.” He heard what he said and amended it. “Not always anyway.”
“Phew. Glad you qualified that. You had me worried there for a moment.”
“You’re just this side of insane. Anyone ever point that out?”
“The ex mentioned it,” she said casually. “But usually he put me on the other side.”
Dessert arrived and they traded plates once the waitress turned her back. Ramsey picked up a clean spoon and dug into the sorbet. She felt Sullivan’s eyes on her and looked up. Sure enough, he was studying her. “What?” she asked.
“Did that bother you? What I said about crazy? I didn’t mean to invoke your ex.”
“I’m not that fragile, Sullivan. At least not any longer. A few years ago, it probably would have put me in a mood, but I’m past that. Past him.”
He nodded, took a bite of the key lime. “I’ve learned a few things about abuse over the years on the force. Philly, then here. Lots of ways one spouse can manipulate and control a partner.”
“Are you asking if I knew I was being abused?”
“I didn’t really ask. It was more of an observation. Do you mind?”
She shook her head. “I understood it eventually. The way Jay managed our finances was an insidious form of abuse. He made me dependent on him for everything.”
“Family?”
“My parents adored him, and I didn’t speak up until I was ready to ask for a divorce. They said they understood, but I don’t think they did, not really. Most of that’s my fault. I never wanted to tell them everything. I still don’t. We talk now and again. They speak to Jay more often than they speak to me.”
“How do you know?”
“They bring him up, tell me what he’s doing as if I’m interested. I usually end the conversation about then, but they have yet to pick up on the cue.”
“You have siblings?”
“An older brother. He has a wife, kids, lives down the block from my parents. Hank’s like Switzerland. Neutral. That works better for him with Mom and Dad.” Ramsey looked at her nearly empty wine glass and tried to remember if she’d had a second or third refill. Loose lips, she thought. She didn’t say much about her family when friends asked. It wasn’t that difficult to turn the conversation toward their families. People generally didn’t mind sharing information; she did.
“What’s wrong?” asked Sullivan.
“Hmm?”
“You’re frowning. Is it the wine? The sorbet?” When she didn’t respond, he said, “Of course. It’s the conversation.”
Almost imperceptibly, she nodded. “I thought it would be all right, but it’s not. Can we talk about something else? Someoneelse?”
“Uh-huh. How about those Steelers?”
In appreciation of his effort, Ramsey smiled a little jerkily. “Maybe something else,” she said again. “The team gets a lot of air time at work. Thank God, they’re winning. It’s worse when the season’s upside down.”
