He said this with such quiet conviction that she almost believed it was true. She raised her head and put some space between them. He let her go. Just like that, he let her go. While she was marveling that he understood what she wanted, he turned back to the stove to get the kettle. They both returned to their chairs after he poured and the tea steeped.
“It won’t be long before Miss Headley will be here,” Lily said, tucking his damp handkerchief under her sleeve.
“If she wasn’t lying. If she hasn’t changed her mind. If her train wasn’t delayed. If she didn’t miss a connection.”
“I suppose we’ll know one way or another within a week.”
He shrugged. “I suppose.”
Lily studied his face. His perfectly symmetrical features were set without expression. “Are you worried? I can’t tell.”
“More concerned that she won’t show. I don’t want the threat of her suspended over my head like John Henry’s hammer. I want her here and I want her gone. If she insists on remaining, it will be to cause trouble. In that case, I’ll return to that plot of land where I was shot and wait until someone tries it again.”
“Wouldn’t it be easier to invite Miss Headley to shoot you?”
Roen’s jerky laugh shook the teapot as he was pouring. Hot tea splashed the table and would have caught the back of Lily’s hand if she hadn’t quickly withdrawn it. “Are you all right?”
“I’m fine. It was my fault. I caught you unawares.” She got up to get a cloth to wipe the table and also pick up the sugar bowl. “Did you love her?” she asked when she sat down. “You never said.”
“Didn’t I? I wish I could tell you that I did love her and that I felt betrayed by her affair, but that wasn’t the case. She’s a beautiful woman, but perhaps you surmised that.”
“I did.”
“I was flattered by her attention in the beginning, and there was a curious sort of excitement having the daughter of my employer on my arm. Victor never voiced objections, but I also have no idea how much he knew about our relationship. I don’t know, for instance, whether he realized Victorine and I were intimates.”
“Oh.”
“Am I speaking too plainly? You understood she and I were lovers, didn’t you?”
“I, um, yes. I think I understood that.” Had she? It was truer that she hadn’t wanted to think about it.
“I believe I have poked at your gentle sensibilities.”
“I am not naïve, Mr. Shep—” She caught herself. “Roen.”
A faint smile lifted the corners of his mouth. “I never thought that.”
“You did... you do. I’m well aware that you are outside my experience. You’ve seen things, done things, that I only know from books. My world is small compared to yours, but it doesn’t mean I don’t know what goes on in that wider world. I have progressive opinions that might surprise you.”
Roen arched an eyebrow as he picked up his teacup. “Tell me one.”
“Women’s suffrage. I’m in favor of it.”
“Don’t you already have the right to vote here?”
“Yes, but not nationally. I’m in favor of that.”
“That was too easy. Tell me another.”
Lily shook her head. “No, you asked for one and I gave it to you.” She pressed the back of her hand to her mouth to stifle a yawn. Her eyes were apologetic as she pushed her cup away. “I need to retire before my head hits the table. It came over me all at once.”
Roen nodded. “Give me a few minutes to get my nightshirt, robe, and slippers. I can wash here at the sink and you can have your bedroom to yourself.”
“All right. I may as well go up with you. You’ll need a towel and washcloth. Did you bring toiletries? I saw you with a small case earlier.”
“I have what I need.”
Lily stood. Roen didn’t. She saw him tilt back his head and look at her from under dark lashes set at half-mast. Looking at her, she realized, not in a studying sort of way, just looking at her as though it pleased him to do it. She stayed where she was, not sure what she should do. Turning her back and leaving seemed somehow cowardly, though she wasn’t sure why. Standing her ground made her feel as if she were challenging him, but she knew nothing else in her posture bore that out. She didn’t know what to do with her hands so they remained at her sides, neither curling into fists nor twisting in the fabric of her skirt. She kept her chin down and her eyes on his face. She didn’t blink.
