“No…oh, no. I’ve been thinking that an annulment would be a better solution.”
“The word ‘solution’ implies there’s a problem. I’d like to hear what the problem is.”
“I want to go home,” Lydia said. “I miss my family. I haven’t heard anything from Mother or Papa. I can’t be certain they’ve even gotten my first letter.” None of what she said was a lie, yet Lydia did not feel the same urgency imparted in her tone.
“You promised you would stay here for a year. Is this how you keep your word?”
“I’m sorry, Nathan. I didn’t make that promise lightly. I really thought I could keep it.”
“Why do you want an annulment? You could leave without it.”
She frowned. “But then we’d still be married,” she said. “You wouldn’t be able to marry again.”
“I don’t plan on marrying again.” He was watching her carefully, noting the way her eyes never held his for very long, the way they shifted to a point beyond his shoulder. “Do you?”
“I’ve never thought about it,” she prevaricated.
“You mean it’s not James Early or Henry Bell you’re running to?”
“I’ve never lied about James. He’s a friend. I suppose he always will be. I never think seriously about marrying him.”
“Henry?”
“Henry Bell was a victim of my mother’s considerable charms. Ineverthink of marrying him. Seriously or otherwise.”
“Then an annulment hardly seems necessary. We’ll remain married until you’re certain you want another husband. You can write me in that event.”
“You’re going to let me leave?” she asked incredulously. She had expected an argument similar to the one over the annulment.
“I can’t really keep you here, can I? I can only make it difficult for you to go, and my ability to do that is limited when I’m in Ballaburn and you’re here. If you won’t come back to the station with me, then you can go to San Francisco.”
“But you’ll lose Ballaburn.”
“I’d lose it if we were granted an annulment, too. But this way I won’t lose you.”
“Nathan, I don’t think—”
He held up one hand. “Let me finish. I know you’ll be completely out of my reach, Lydia, but I’ll also know you’re still mine. As long as we’re married Brig can’t have you.”
And therefore he can’t have Ballaburn,Lydia finished silently. She and Nathan had arrived at a similar conclusion though their approach to the problem was wildly different. She did not want Brig to have the station either, but it was Nathan’s safety she wanted to guarantee, not her own. The surest way for Brig to end their marriage was to make her a widow. An annulment was absolutely essential. “I’m not leaving Sydney without the dissolution of our marriage, Nathan.”
“Then you’re coming with me to Ballaburn. I can make that happen.”
Lydia’s chin lifted a notch. “What are you going to do? Bind and gag me? Toss me in a trunk? Because that’s what it will take to make me leave.”
Nathan almost smiled at her dramatics. “I was thinking along the lines of cuffing you on that arrogant chin of yours and pitching you over the back of my horse. And if you think anyone will stop me, you still haven’t learned much about the way things are done here. You’re my wife, Lydia.”
“I’m not your property!”
“You’re exactly my property!”
Lydia’s hands clenched at her sides. She could imagine herself slapping Nathan solidly on the cheek. The vision in her mind’s eye appalled and frightened her. Instead of striking out she sank heavily into the chair behind her, bowed her head, and stared at her shaking hands. “I’m afraid,” she said softly. “Nathan, I’m so afraid.”
He dropped to his knees in front of her and took her hands in his. “Do you think I don’t know? Lydia? Look at me, Lydia.” She raised her eyes slightly. “When you thought I was Brig this afternoon you were all sharp-tongued and bluster, trying so hard to make him see that you weren’t intimidated. Perhaps it would have worked with Brigham, but it doesn’t have the same impact on me. I know he’s frightened you and you’ve already shown plenty of foolish courage by being with him at all. Youknowwhat we can’t prove. Brig’s a killer. It’s right that you should be scared of him.”
“I’m not,” Lydia denied. “I’m not afraid of what he might do to me.” Her hands were trembling now. Nathan’s attempts at calming her were inadequate. “I’m afraid…I’m afraid of what...”
“Lydia,” he said softly. “What else is there to be frightened of?”
