“That’sthe kind of friend you are,” she said softly. “Get out of here, Brigham. I’m going to scream.”
Brigham scooped his hat from the end table and laid his coat over his arm. “If you won’t consider divorce, then you don’t leave me many choices.” His green eyes were pensive, his smile a trifle sad. “G’day, Lydia.”
She stood clear of Brigham as he walked past her, afraid that somehow the mere touch from him could contaminate her. She stared after him until he had disappeared down the steps at the end of the hall, then she went into her room and locked herself in. Still clutching her books, Lydia dropped to the floor and leaned heavily against the door.
Divorce. It wouldn’t have to be divorce, she thought. An annulment would accomplish the same end. It would be as if the marriage had never been, as if she and Nathan had never shared anything important or intimate. Brigham would take it as a sign that she meant to marry him and he would have no reason to try to take Ballaburn by any other means.
Dissolving the marriage, leaving Nathan free of both her and Ballaburn, might be the only method of saving his life.
Father Colgan interrupted Lydia’s class on Tuesday afternoon with word that she had a visitor in his office. She did her best not to show her frustration and left the priest in charge of a very competitive spelling bee. Brigham was sitting behind Father Colgan’s desk in his high, leather-backed chair. He was turned away from the door, staring out the window into the children’s barren play area.
Lydia shut the door behind her hard and was satisfied to see the chair jerk in response to Brig’s surprise. “I don’t like you interrupting my lessons,” she said. “If you must see me, then leave a note with Henry at the desk. I’ll meet you somewhere publicly, but not here. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’d like to get back to my pupils.”
The chair swiveled around. Nathan’s silver-gray eyes were expressionless in their regard, his features impassive. “Very well, Lydia.”
“Nathan!”
There was no denying her shock was real. Nathan felt himself relaxing a little. He had given some thought to the kind of welcome he might expect from Lydia, but none of his imaginings were close to the coldly terse and dismissive greeting he received. Now it seemed that it was not meant for him at all. “Who were you expecting?”
Lydia’s mouth opened and closed as every thought fled from her head. Nathan! Her heart was pounding so hard that she was sure he would hear it and know that she was not indifferent to his presence. “I thought…that is…I was expecting...” She sank slowly into the chair on the other side of the desk and laid her hands lightly in her lap. “Father Colgan didn’t say it was you. I didn’t think you’d reply so soon to my letter and certainly not in person. It was good of you to come, Nathan.”
“I haven’t come in response to any letter, Lydia. If you wrote something recently I haven’t received it. Perhaps it arrived at Ballaburn after I left today.”
No letter. Her shoulders sagged a little. He had no idea what she wanted from him. Everything she had explained so carefully in her letter would now have to be explained in person. She wasn’t certain she was capable of that sort of confrontation with Nathan. What if he saw through her?
“Then why have you come?” she asked. She blinked, her eyes widening anxiously as something occurred to her. “Is it Irish? Has something happened to Irish?”
Nathan shook his head. “No, Irish is much as you last saw him.” Lydia would have to make of that what she would. He would not break his promise to Irish, but if Lydia was observant at all she would know her father was not doing well. “He sends his best.”
“I miss him.”
“You could do something about it,” Nathan said, seizing the opening she had given him. It was difficult to sit where he was, pretending a certain emotional distance was between them, when what he had really wanted to do since she came in the room was kiss her. He’d release the tight coil of her hair and his fingers would sift through its length and thickness. His hands would cradle her head gently, hold her still, and his mouth would touch her, lightly at first, then when he’d just given her a taste of him his kiss would deepen, harden, and his tongue would...
“Nathan?” Lydia frowned, tilting her head to catch his attention. “I asked you if that’s why you came—to convince me to return to Ballaburn?”
Nathan came back to reality. “I think you’re putting the cart before the horse, Lydia. Tell me, can you leave the children for the day? I don’t think this is the best place for what I’ve come to discuss. Why don’t we go to Petty’s? I’ve taken a room there for a few days.”
Lydia blanched. “You took a room at Petty’s? Oh, Nathan, how could you do that? What will people think—you in one room, me in another? Henry’s certain to have told someone by now.”
Dark eyebrows raised, Nathan’s look was disbelieving. “If you care what people think, then your place is at Ballaburn, not here in the city. Can you leave for the day or not?”
“I’ll meet you at Petty’s when I’m finished,” she said quietly. “My room number is—”
“Come to mine,” he said. “It’s the suite we had. I’m sure you remember it.”
Too well. “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”
“Don’t you trust me?” he asked bluntly.
“Well…yes, I trust you.”
You’re foolish,he wanted to say. What he said was, “Then you must not trust yourself.” He stood, skirted the desk, and touched Lydia’s shoulder lightly on his way out. “I’ll see you in a few hours.”
Lydia got through the rest of the day on sheer nerves. Sister Isabel was helpful with the younger children while Lydia worked individually with some of the older ones. It was difficult for her to keep her attention focused when her thoughts kept straying to Nathan waiting for her at the hotel. He was right about not trusting herself with him. It was easy to think she could be cool and reserved when he was at the station and she was in the city, quite another thing when she was in the same room with him.
It wasn’t fair that Nathan could turn her inside out when he looked at her in that certain way. She had always felt the pull of those predator silvery-gray eyes, and there was only a brief period of time when she hadn’t run from the fiercely felt attraction. Lydia had known it again in the priest’s office, and the urge to leave had nearly overwhelmed her. She couldn’t run, though, not if she wanted to convince Nathan that what she felt for him was nothing so much as indifference.
“Come in,”Nathan called. He was standing on the veranda when he heard Lydia’s knock. She had come straight from the school. She was carrying a satchel of books, her reticule, and an armload of papers. She dropped everything on the bed, laid her coat and hat on top, and went to the fireplace to warm her hands. Nathan came in from the veranda and sat behind her in an overstuffed brocade chair. His gaze wandered over her trim back and the curve of her hips. Her plain gray gown was severely cut, modest, and proper. He wondered if she was wearing the lacy drawers and batiste chemise he had purchased for her under it. Glancing at her hemline, Nathan tried to get a glimpse of her pantalets. He was fairly caught out when she turned around but he didn’t apologize or even pretend abashment. What he did was smile.
