Shannon shook her head, tears pricking her closed eyes. She bit her lip afraid to voice her thoughts, certain he would despise her if she called a halt now. Through the rough fabric of his breeches she could feel the press of his erection.
“Shannon?”
“I can’t, Brandon.”
“Can’t?” he repeated, not wanting to believe he had heard correctly.
“Don’t do this to me,” she begged softly.
“I thought you wanted this also.” Even as he said it, he knew it wasn’t true. He had overridden her objections, forcing her surrender as surely as if he had held a pistol to her head.
“I do. That is what makes it so terrible.”
Brandon’s soft curse was directed at himself, but he felt Shannon flinch. “That was not intended for you,” he said, releasing her and sitting up. He turned his back on Shannon. “I am tired of waiting. Sick of wanting. Sickwithwanting.”
Shannon righted her skirts and adjusted her bodice. “Do you think I’m not?” she asked, touching his shoulder. “But as long as Aurora remains at the folly, I cannot be with you. Not in the manner you wish. It would be so easy for me to lie with you now, and so hard for me to live with myself later. I have betrayed Aurora so often in my thoughts, wanting you as I do, but please do not ask me to betray her in my actions. We’ve already gone too far. Sometimes I still think it would be better if I—”
Brandon turned and drew Shannon to him. She fit easily into the circle of his arms. “I won’t let you go, Shannon,” he said, cutting off the words he could not let her say aloud. “Having you here and not being able to be with you is better than not having you at all. I need you. I’ve never said that to anyone else, and if I’m damned for my selfishness, then so be it. When Aurora left me, it wounded my pride. If you were to go, it would cut my heart. I want you here, where I can see you. Where I can know you’re safe.”
Puzzled by his last statement, Shannon raised her head. “Safe? I don’t understand. Why wouldn’t I be safe?”
Brandon blinked, realizing what he had just said. “Safe from the attentions of others,” he said smoothly. “If I sent you to town, I would always wonder who was trailing after your skirts, waiting for the opportunity to catch sight of your dainty ankles.”
Shannon began to laugh. “Foolish man. In one breath you bare your soul, and in the next you speak of skirt-chasers. So much for a romantic declaration.”
He hugged her to him, pressing her cheek against his shoulder. “You deserve so much more than me,” he said. “I thank God every day that you don’t know it.”
“Now you are certainly speaking foolishness.”
He ignored her comment. Picking up his jacket, he placed it around Shannon’s shoulders.
“No, you should have it,” she said. “My shawl is here somewhere.”
“Keep the coat.” The corner of his mouth turned up in a wry smile. “As for me, the chill will serve as well as a dip in the river.”
Shannon flushed at his self-deprecating humor. “You’re not angry with me?” she asked.
“Angry with myself perhaps, but not with you. I asked for this when I brought you here. I knew it would be against your will. I simply didn’t want to hear your conscience when I had worked so hard to bury mine.” He leaned back against the trunk of the willow tree and stared at the cloudless night sky so brilliant with stars. “When did you know you loved me?”
His question surprised Shannon. “Don’t you know?”
“No. You were going to tell me once, and then you never did. I’ve wondered about it.”
That amused her. She thought she had been so obvious. “I wish I could say that it happened at Glen Eden,” she said. “But you frightened me then.”
“To my everlasting regret.”
“It wasn’t your fault,” she said quickly. “You were beyond all my experience.”
“The attentions of a stripling lad would have been beyond your experience,” he teased.
Shannon nudged his ribs. “You weren’t as reserved as the earl, nor as shy as the local youths. Your confidence in your own charms was a bit overwhelming.”
“Conceited, you mean.”
“Overwhelming,” she repeated. “You were—” She stopped as something moved in the wood. “Did you hear that? An animal, I think.”
Brandon was already standing up, his head tilted to one side to pinpoint the sound. “Go back to the house, Shannon.”
