"He's moving. That's a good sign."
Petrov decides to show off, doing a series of quick crossovers and a spin that would make a figure skater jealous.
One of the firefighters, younger guy, way too confident, says, "I can do that."
"No you can't," Marcus warns.
"Watch me."
He cannot, in fact, do that.
He makes it approximately three seconds before his skates tangle and he goes down in a spectacular wipeout that somehow takes out two other firefighters in the process. It's like watching dominoes fall, except the dominoes are full-grown men and they're all yelling.
Another firefighter is somehow skating backwards. Not on purpose, based on the panic on his face. "HELP!"
"Just turn!"
"I DON'T KNOW HOW!"
He crashes into Wall, who doesn't even budge. Wall's like a tree. An enormous, goalie-shaped tree.
The coach has his head in his hands.
Washington's trying not to laugh and failing.
They move on to puck handling, which is somehow even more disastrous.
Pucks are flying everywhere. One firefighter takes a shot and the puck goes straight up, nearly hitting the lights. Another shoots it directly into his own goal. A stick goes helicoptering across the ice after someone loses their grip, spinning like a deadly propeller, and the coach has to dive out of the way.
"SORRY!"
Marcus lines up for a slap shot, winds up with way too much confidence, misses the puck entirely, and spins from the momentum like a drunk figure skater.
I'm laughing so hard, I'm crying. Leila's not even pretending to work on her banner anymore. We're both just watching this trainwreck unfold.
"This is the best thing I've ever seen," I gasp out between laughs.
"They have two more weeks to learn hockey."
"We're doomed."
"So doomed."
But the team's being incredibly patient. Ace is working with one of the firefighters, demonstrating stickhandling slowly, and I watch him move the puck back and forth, his hands steady and controlled.
My brain immediately goes somewhere inappropriate.
"Devon."
I snap back to reality. "What?"
Now it's Leila who's giving meThe Look. "You're staring."
"I'm learning!"
"Uh-huh."
I force myself to look at my poster board.
