My phone buzzes.
I ignore it.
It buzzes again.
"Go away," I mumble into my pillow.
It buzzes three more times in rapid succession.
Fine. Fine. I roll onto my back and grab it, squinting at the screen.
It's the group chat.
I open it and instantly regret it.
There are 247 unread messages. How is that even possible? I checked it four hours ago.
I scroll up, trying to find where I left off.
Becker:guys. GUYS. i had an idea.
Wall:oh no
Petrov:This will be disaster
Becker:RUDE. Anyway, what if we did a social media campaign?
Devon:we're already doing social media
Becker:No, I mean like a CAMPAIGN campaign. With hashtags and everything.
Devon: ...we have hashtags
Becker:Better hashtags
Groove:What's wrong with our current hashtags?
Becker:They're boring
Devon:YOU’RE BORING
The conversation devolves from there into an argument about hashtag strategy that I don't have the energy to follow.
I keep scrolling.
Washington:Updated the spreadsheet. Everyone check your assignments.
Jesus, not the spreadsheet.
I haven't looked at the spreadsheet in three days.
I switch apps, pulling up the Google Sheet that's become the bane of my existence.
It loads.
And loads.
And—
