"Should we be worried?" Wall asks.
"Probably," I say.
"Definitely," Groover corrects.
***
AN HOUR LATER, we're on the team bus, headed back to Chicago.
Everyone's sprawled across seats in various states of exhaustion. Some guys are sleeping. Petrov's watching something on his phone with headphones in, occasionally laughing at what I'm assuming is a YouTube video about bears or vodka.
I'm staring out the window at the dark highway, wondering if it's too late to fake my own death and move to Canada, when my phone buzzes.
OnlyNewRadicals_69:yo! how'd the tailor thing work out?
Oh, right. Reddit guy. The one who saved me from a hat-induced panic attack.
Need_Tailor_Chicago:Good! Your roommate's mom is a miracle worker. Saved my ass.
OnlyNewRadicals_69:your ass needed saving? do tell
Need_Tailor_Chicago:It was a work thing. Last minute crisis.
OnlyNewRadicals_69:mmm i love a man in crisis mode
OnlyNewRadicals_69:something about the desperation is hot
Umm…
I read it again. Then a third time, like maybe I'm hallucinating.
Nope. Still sayshot.
Need_Tailor_Chicago:Are you trying to flirt with me?
OnlyNewRadicals_69:duhh
OnlyNewRadicals_69:you stoned or something?
I laugh, and Wall glances over from across the aisle.
I wave him off.
He goes back to his phone, unconvinced.
OnlyNewRadicals_69:follow-up question: are you hot?
I choke on nothing. Actually just inhale wrong and start coughing.
Wall's staring now. "You good?"
I give him a thumbs up while my esophagus stages a revolt.
Need_Tailor_Chicago:That's a weird question.
OnlyNewRadicals_69:it's market research
Need_Tailor_Chicago:I'm straight.
