"When?"
"Seven." I check my phone again. "Which is in—" Math is hard when you're horny. "—thirteen minutes."
Becker, who's on bar rotation with Petrov, appears, sliding empty glasses across the bar. "What are we talking about?"
"Nothing," I say quickly.
"Devon's dick appointment," Kayla says at the exact same time.
"KAYLA!"
Becker's face lights up like Christmas morning. "Oh? Do tell."
"There's nothing to tell. I have plans. Normal plans. Very normal, non-dick-related plans."
Becker grins. "So, dick plans."
"I hate you both."
Petrov joins us, because apparently this is now a group conversation. "What is dick plans?"
"Devon has a date," Becker explains.
Petrov nods.
I bury my face in my hands. "I'm surrounded by nosy assholes."
"You love us," Kayla says.
She's not wrong, but I'm not admitting it.
I check my phone again. 6:49 PM.
I'm not going to make it. I'm going to die of terminal horniness before I can leave this bar.
Movement catches my eye, and I look over to see Becker at the far end of the bar, crouched down, whispering conspiratorially to Hendrix.
Oh, absolutely fucking not.
Hendrix is perched on his favorite spot, head tilted, listening intently to whatever nonsense Becker's feeding him.
I gasp, pressing my hand to my chest in mock offense. "Hendrix! Get over here!"
Hendrix ignores me.
"Forget it, Devon," Becker calls out, not even looking up. "It's my turn. We're bonding."
"You can't bond with my bird!"
"He's not your bird. He's Mama Paws's bird."
"HENDRIX!" I call out louder.
This time, Hendrix's head swivels toward me. He considers for a long moment, looking between me and Becker like he's weighing his options.
Then he spreads his wings and flies directly to my shoulder, landing with a self-satisfied ruffle of feathers.
"Ha!" I point at Becker triumphantly. "He likes me better!"
