This is only temporary. Even if I am not useful in Greystone Manor, I will find another place that does not belong to Lady Gillray.She would have gone somewhere else, but she desperately needed to see her sister.
She took a deep breath before walking to the double doors of Gillray Manor. A footman answered the door and showed her to the drawing room, where Lady Gillray was having tea while Christine sat in the corner, knitting a scarf.
Lady Gillray looked at the suitcase in Selina’s hand and cackled. “I knew you would never make it over there,” she said, standing up. “You are not built to be a duchess.” She gave a mocking curtsy. “Your Grace.”
Selina gritted her teeth. “Good morning, Godmother. I would like to speak to my sister alone, please.”
“What happened? Did he try to push you off the balcony, too? Did you dodge out of the way and run here, away from your troubles?”
Christine looked mortified. “Godmother, please. How can you say such cruel things?”
Anger flooded Selina, and she glared at the older lady. “You will not say such horrid lies about my husband. Not to me or anyone else. I can tell you now that he hadnothingto do with the late duchess’s unfortunate demise.”
She sniffed. “How naive of you, Selina.”
Selina rose to her full height. “That isYour Graceto you, Godmother. I suggest you think twice before you insist on making me your enemy.”
“Nonsense.” But the older woman looked a little uncertain, and the sight filled Selina with satisfaction.
“Even if you were not insulting the duke, you treat my sister horribly,” Selina said. “The audacity to treat her as if she were no more than a lady’s companion is unbelievable. That alone gives me plenty of motivation to get you blackballed from society events. I might not have been a duchess for long, but you know my title alone makes me capable.”
Lady Gillray curtsied, a little more sincerely this time. “I will give you and your sister privacy, Your Grace.” Her voice was a little more penitent now. She did not look at Selina as she left the drawing room.
Selina slumped into the chair next to Christine, feeling suddenly very tired.Perhaps I will spend the rest of my life alternating between cross and tired.
“Are you all right?” her sister asked hesitantly. “Did you and the duke get into a fight?”
“Yes,” Selina said. “But he was not cruel. Not in the way everyone expects him to be. Just…” she sighed. “He does not want a wife. He married me to protect my reputation, and so I could be a mother to Percy. But Percy already has a mother, and I am not her. I feel like I have failed. As a duchess, a mother, everything. I am a disappointment to Greystone.”
“I am sure that is not true,” Christine said.
“Oh, it is.” She shook her head. “Percy spoke for the first time in over a year.”
Christine smiled. “That is amazing.”
“Yes, it is,” Selina said softly. “And I am happy he found his voice. However, he only started talking to tell me I am not his real mother.” A pang of sadness hit her, but she managed a smallsmile. “I do not blame the child, of course. But it is still clear that I am not wanted.”
“That cannot be true,” Christine said. “Even if his first words were not ideal, you still helped him find his voice.”
Selina shook her head. “Perhaps I helped, but maybe he would have started speaking again regardless of whether I was there or not. He just started speaking when he was ready. Truthfully, I have not done anything for him that a nanny could not do. I have failed Percy, and I failed Dominic.” She covered her face with her hands.
Christine patted her shoulder. “I am sure that is not true.”
But Selina could not be convinced. She simply sighed in response.
After a couple of seconds, her sister spoke again. “Are you planning on staying long?”
“I wish to stay for a night or two,” Selina said. “I will not be staying here long, but I do not know if I will be returning to Greystone Manor. Perhaps I will find other arrangements. I am sure Dominic would not mind if I found separate living arrangements after our last discussion.”
She grimaced, remembering that horrible morning. “Percy started speaking again, and that is truly all the duke wantedfrom me. I am sure the boy will be just as happy with his nanny as he would be with me.”
She remembered the duke saying he wanted to go back to their original agreement so that they could prioritize Percy. But surely, he would realize that Selina had done all she could do with him soon enough.
“I am sorry,” Christine said. “Living apart from your family sounds awful.”
Tears sprang into Selina’s eyes. Even though she had not known Dominic or Percy that long, she definitely considered them family. She took a deep breath, which was shakier than she would have liked.
“I have done it before. I can do it again. Plenty of married couples live separate lives. There are worse lots in life.” She smiled, even as she blinked back her tears. “Truly. I have been quite lucky. Only a little over a month ago, I would have been lucky to find employment as a governess, and here I am a duchess. I can hardly complain.”
