I was happy to see you playing in the garden today. I love you, son.
Dominic grimaced to himself. The note felt woefully inadequate for how he felt. His son had been tossing a ball up in the air and catching it while his nanny supervised him. It was not a lot, but it was more engagement in a game than he had shown in a long time.
It had given him great happiness to see Percy doing such a simple activity, and he had no idea how to properly express that.
Before he could think of anything else to say, the door to his study opened and Selina walked in. “I need to talk to you,” she said.
“Can it wait?” he asked. “I am busy writing a note to Percy.”
Her brow furrowed. “You write notes to him?” She sounded intrigued as she entered the room and sat down in an armchair across from his desk.
Dominic felt a prickle of irritation at her interruption, but he knew, deep down, that he was irritated at himself for taking so long to write a simple note to a child who could not even read yet. He sighed and put down his pen.
“I write these notes to him every day,” he said. “I have the servants give them to him.” He shook his head. “Percy cannot read them, not yet, but I do not know how else to tell him…” he grimaced. “For all I know, he rips them up or throws them away.”
“I am sure he does not do that,” she said.
“I do not know. Things have been strained between us for the past year.” He looked at her, knowing she was listening patiently to him, as if she actually cared about what he had to say.
“I am envious of you, you know. You seem to know exactly what to say to him to make him feel comfortable and to put a smile on his face. He was playing in the garden today, and I know that is because of you.” He grimaced. “Meanwhile, all I can do is write notes to him that he cannot read.”
She thought for a moment before speaking. “Have you tried reading the notes aloud to Percy?”
“No,” he said. “I do not think I would be able to.”
“Why don’t you practice?” she asked. “You can practice with me.”
“That is absurd,” he said. “I am not going to recite something as if I am a child at school.”
“It will help you to become more comfortable,” she insisted. “Just try it with me.”
He sighed, feeling foolish as he picked up the note. He did not want to read it aloud to Selina, knowing she would see fully how inadequate it was. But he wanted to try, in case it did help him feel more comfortable reading a note aloud to Percy one of these days.
“Dear Percy,” he said. “I was happy to see you playing in the garden today. I love you, son.” He put the paper down. “I am not the most eloquent writer, but I do not know how else to talk to him.”
“I think that note is beautiful,” she said. “A sincere note is better than flowery prose full of falsehoods.”
He grimaced, not saying anything in reply.
“What was Percy like before his mother died?” Selina asked.
Dominic felt a fresh wave of grief as he thought about it. “He was a handful,” he said. “Percy was an energetic toddler who loved running around and making a mess in every room he could find. He would scream with happiness and laugh and sing at the top of his lungs.”
Sometimes he would play along with Percy’s antics, but more often than not, he would tell his son to behave or take it outside. He would give anything for Percy to run around the house while laughing now.
“You must have had fun playing with him,” Selina said, smiling.
“I should have made more time to play with him than I did,” he admitted. “He would only behave around Eugenia. He always wanted her affection—would do anything for it, but…” he grimaced. “She did not love him the way a mother should. In fact, she wanted nothing to do with him.”
“Why not?” Selina asked.
Dominic’s lip curled. “Because he looks exactly like me. Eugenia hated me. She never forgave me for marrying her, and Percy suffered because of it.”
Agitation filled him as he thought about how coldly Eugenia would treat her own son. Just because he had black hair and blue eyes like his father. He stood up suddenly. “I have to leave,” he said. “Please give that note to Percy.”
As he handed her the note, their hands touched. He lingered for a moment, taking comfort in the feeling of her hand as his gaze went to her mouth.
Dominic pulled away from her. He walked out of the room and went straight to the hallway. He needed some air so he could calm down and forget about painful memories.
