Austin reached across the table, tapping him lightly on the arm. “You may fret, you may agonize, you may convince yourself of all manner of moral high ground,” he said, his voice gentle and patient. “But if she kissed you back, Dominic, then you are notentirely unwelcome. That is more than many men are given, and it is something you should consider before condemning yourself further.”
Dominic let out a humorless laugh, the sound more a groan than amusement. “It was a lapse, nothing more, nothing less. And yet…” His voice trailed off, choking on the intensity of the memory that still burned behind his eyes.
Yet. That word echoed in his mind with cruel insistence.Yet she responded. Yet her lips sought mine. Yet her body pressed to mine in a fleeting contact.And the cruelest part of all was that he wanted more. More than propriety, more than duty, more than reason. He wanted her, with every fiber of his being, and the realization both terrified and exhilarated him.
I kissed my wife,he repeated silently once more.And I cannot act on it. I will not. I must not.
But even as he tried to convince himself of his own wisdom, he could not deny the truth that pulsed beneath every beat of his heart: he wanted her. And that want, that hunger, was something no amount of whiskey, reason, or self-recrimination could ever entirely quench.
Seventeen
After the kiss, Dominic grew cold and distant with Selina again. She was disappointed at his sudden change of mood, but unsurprised. He seemed to regret it every time he showed her any sort of affection.
Of course he does. He does not want you that way. That late-night kiss was merely a lapse in judgment on his part, and he is not the sort of man to take lapses in judgment lightly.
The only time she saw him was during meal times, but even then, they rarely spoke with one another, instead making conversation with the dowager duchess or Percy. However, three days after the late-night kiss, they ended up alone at the breakfast table together.
Selina picked at her toast, sneaking glances at her husband. He sat across from her with the newspaper raised, his expression schooled into indifference. But once or twice, she caught thesubtle flicker of his eyes over the top of the page, as if making certain she was still there.
“I am going to visit my sister today,” she said, breaking the silence.
He did not look up at once. His eyes lingered on the paper a moment too long, as though collecting himself, before he lowered it an inch. “I am glad,” he said evenly. “I hope it is a good visit.”
She took a sip of tea, hoping he would continue speaking, or at least look at her, but there was nothing. She tried again. “Last night, I read a story aloud to Percy. He seemed to enjoy it. I think I will do the same tonight.”
This time, he did glance at her. For the briefest instant, warmth flickered in his dark eyes… quickly shuttered, as though he had remembered himself too late.
“Yes,” he said, voice quiet. “He likes it when people read aloud to him.” He set down his cup and pushed back his chair. As he rose, his hand tightened on the edge of the table, knuckles pale, betraying some tension he otherwise concealed.
“I shall leave you to enjoy your breakfast. Good day.” He did not glance at her again as he left the breakfast table.
Selina stared down at her half-eaten toast, her appetite gone. Even though Dominic had not been rude to her, she felt cold and alone. And yet, those fleeting glances gnawed at her.
If he truly felt nothing, why did it seem like such an effort for him to look away?
Later that day, Selina was happy to visit Christine. When she entered Gillray Manor, the two sisters embraced in the front hall. Selina closed her eyes, already feeling better now that she was seeing her sister again.
“You have only been apart for a week,” Lady Gillray said. “I do not see why you have to get so weepy over it.”
Lady Gillray still did not know that Christine had dinner at Greystone Manor the other day. That was good. Selina pulled away from Christine so she could glare at her godmother. “I assume you got His Grace’s message, Godmother.”
“Yes, Your Grace,” she said, sneering. “Your debt with me has been settled in full thanks to the generosity of the Duke of Greystone. You know, if I’d have known you were sly enough to catch a duke, I would have taken you in instead of Christine.”
Before Selina could make a sharp retort, Christine grabbed her hand. “Let us go into the drawing room for some tea… Your Grace.” Her eyes twinkled with merriment.
Selina groaned. “Please, do not call me that.”
Christine laughed as the two sisters went to the drawing room. To Selina’s dismay, Lady Gillray followed them.
“You must tell me what it is like living in Greystone Manor,” Christine said once they were seated at a table in the drawing room. A maid put a pot of tea on the table, along with tea cups, and a plate of pastries.
Selina could not help but notice that the tea set was the finest one Lady Gillray owned. It was only brought out for guests. She felt a strange pang of sadness, knowing she was now a guest in her sister’s home. She had hoped for more time living with her than she had been given. “What is it like living with the duke?”
“It has been an interesting adjustment,” Selina said. She was reluctant to say anything in front of Lady Gillray, especially because she knew her godmother liked to gossip when it brought her attention.
Her godmother looked down at her as if she were an unpleasant bug. “How does it feel sleeping in the former duchess’s bed?”
Selina shot her godmother a dark look. “Perfectly neutral,” she said coolly. “I would like to have some time alone with my sister, if you do not mind.”
