‘You and me against the world,’ he repeats dutifully.
He might as well do as she asks. He’s running out of excuses and, really, why not appease her? Why not make her happy by doing this one thing? After all, they’ve already got blood on their hands.
36
LENA
I keep thinking about that photograph of Simone, now apparently an electrician. Why would the Morgans have that article pinned to their wall? I’d gone down a rabbit hole searching for Simone online, but there was nothing. No social-media accounts whatsoever. I’d googled her name and could find only a couple of newspaper reports from the old trial. There was a website for the electrical company with testimonials and reviews, but no names of their electricians.
‘Mum, are you listening?’
I’m standing in the garden watering the plants with Rufus, who’s back from college early. He’s half-heartedly throwing a deflated football for Phoenix and he’s been telling me about his latest short film, something about two friends trying to cover up a crime inspired, apparently, by Hitchcock’sRope, but my mind had wandered to Simone.
‘Sorry, love. Miles away.’
‘You’re not worrying about money, are you?’ His deep brown eyes fill with concern.
‘Not at all. It’ll be fine, don’t worry.’ I flash him what I hope is a reassuring smile, but he seems unconvinced. If anything, I probably look deranged. ‘Sorry, you were saying about college …’
He perks up. ‘Andy, my lecturer, has got me two weeks’ work experience on a film set in Bath.’
‘What will you be doing?’
‘A runner. Unpaid. But it will be great experience. It starts next week. Can I do it?’
‘Of course you can. How will you get there?’
‘It’s only twelve minutes by train from Temple Meads. Freddie’s doing it too so we can travel in together.’
‘That’s perfect.’
Phoenix drops the ball at Rufus’s feet, and he bends down to pick it up. He throws the ball over-arm and Phoenix catches it in his mouth.
‘I’m glad you’ve got a nice group of friends now. After … well, you know. School.’
‘Mum, you have to let it go. I played my part too.’
I stare at him. ‘What do you mean?’
A blush creeps up his neck and to his cheeks. ‘Nothing. It’s all over with now.’
‘Jackson was a little shit,’ I spit. My anger about the way Rufus was treated sits just below the surface and it doesn’t take much to make it boil over.
‘Mum …’ He glances at me and takes a deep breath.
‘What?’
His unsaid words hover between us. ‘Nothing.’
He throws the ball one last time for Phoenix, then goes back into the house.
I spend the rest of the afternoon scrolling throughIndeedto find zero-hours contract work that would fit in around my current job. I’m not fussy, and by the time I’ve finished I’ve applied for ten different vacancies ranging from barista to shop assistant. I have to bite back my disappointment and anger with myself every time I think about how I messed up the chance to work full-time at Citizens Advice. I notice that Collette’s café is looking for staff, not that I’ll be applying.
As I close my laptop I wonder if I’d ever have qualified as a midwife if I hadn’t met Simone or done my placement at St Calvert’s. It would have been a difficult job to do around Charlie and his band, not to mention Rufus, but maybe I wouldn’t have left London if all that hadn’t happened. I wouldn’t have met Charlie. But then I’d never have had Rufus and that’s something I can’t bear to think about.
Rufus is in his bedroom and I shout up the stairs that I’m taking Phoenix for a walk. As I leave I spot Marielle and Henry in their front garden. They’re with a middle-aged man in overalls, his bald head shiny. By the look of the van parked behind Henry’s Jaguar, he’s a locksmith. Pinpricks of fear pop up all over my body. Do they know I’ve been letting myself into their house? Did a neighbour spot me and say something to them?
‘Here are your new keys,’ he’s saying, in a broad Bristolian accent, as he drops them into Henry’s hands.
