What happened in the park?
She pulls back the sheet and blanket. She’s wearing a hospital gown although she’s still got her underwear on. She inspects her skin. Has she been drugged? She feels as if she has been. She reaches around to touch the soft skin on her upper arm. It’s tender.
Natalie’s gaze flickers towards the door. It doesn’t look like the kind of door you’d see on a hospital ward, or even a private room like this one obviously is. The door is pine with a keyhole and there is no glass. And everything is quiet. Too quiet. There is no background cacophony of a busy hospital. No bleeps of machinery, ringing of telephones or hurried footsteps from the corridors outside.
She glances at the cut-up food and the mashed potato congealing on the plate and her stomach turns.
Something is wrong. She feels the kick of it deep in her gut and she trusts her instincts. She’s been attuned to keeping herself safe for the last eight years, after all. Why can’t she remember what happened? And where is her bag? She would have had it on her at the park: she never goes anywhere without it. She glances towards the rocking chair. The rabbit with the bow tie stares back at her with its beady eyes and something tugs in her memory. A rabbit with a tartan bow tie, its large head flopping over the side of an overnight bag. But just as quickly the memory vanishes.
17
LENA
Susi rings the next morning to say they can offer me some holiday cover to increase my hours. ‘We’ll see how it goes,’ she says. I can’t keep the euphoria from my voice as I thank her. ‘You’re a hard worker, Lena. And a great adviser. You care …’ She lets the rest of her words hang in the air. She thinks I care too much, I know that. She’s had to warn me before about getting too emotionally involved when I tried to help a woman leave her abusive husband. After I found her a place at a women’s refuge she changed her mind at the eleventh hour and went back to him. Susi assured me there was nothing more I could have done but I still think about the woman. I worry about what her life is like and whether she’s ended up in hospital.
I text Charlie the news that I have more hours, starting next week. He replies with a thumbs-up emoji. I stare at it, annoyed. I text back angrily,Let me know how much extra you want me to pay per month towards the mortgage.
He doesn’t reply, and I worry he’ll still say we need to sell the house.
It’s early, and the sun is already bursting from the sky. While I’m out taking Phoenix for a walk I call Jo. She said she’ll let me know when Paul can come over to install the camera for the back garden, but I haven’t heard from her since Sunday, and it goes to voicemail. I end the call without leaving a message. I’d forgotten she’s in chambers on a Tuesday. After witnessing whatever was going on between Henry and Drew yesterday, my suspicions are heightened and I’ve been tempted to call Drew. But then I remind myself that I don’t really know him and he might not be the nice guy he appears. I also know that Susi wouldn’t look favourably on me contacting him.
I walk around the block with Phoenix, and by the time I return home I’ve already decided to call Drew regardless.
He answers on the first ring. ‘Lena! So lovely to hear from you. I was going to call you, actually.’
‘Oh, yes. Any news on Sarah-Jane?’
A pulse of silence before he says, ‘I could use your advice. Would it be okay to meet?’
‘Um …’ I’m not sure if meeting is a good idea. He was acting so strangely last night. ‘It’s my day off so I won’t be at the office.’
‘Ah … I’m at the farm. I can’t leave it today. With Dad ill it’s too much for Mum on her own. Is it possible you could come here?’
I don’t like the thought of going to his farm by myself.
‘My parents will be there,’ he says, as though sensing my hesitation. ‘Dad’s upstairs in bed but Mum will be floating about.’
It’s the only way I’ll be able to meet him today so I agree.
‘Perfect. Thanks, Lena. I’ll text you the address.’
I end the call, and less than a minute later a text comes through from Drew. The farm is near Keynsham so not too far away. I try not to think about what Susi would say if she knew, and I’m breaking all sorts of ethical rules, but before I’ve had time to talk myself out of it, I’m kissing Phoenix’s fluffy head goodbye and heading out of the door.
Henry’s blue Jaguar isn’t parked outside as I head to my red Fiat 500. I traded in my last car after Charlie left so Rufus could learn to drive in something smaller, but the waiting list for an instructor is so long it will be at least a few more months before he can begin lessons.
I’m thankful for the aircon as I head towards the A4. My satnav takes me through various winding single-track lanes where I have to keep reversing to let other vehicles pass until eventually I come to a smallholding in the middle of nowhere. The gate to the yard is open and a grey stone house stands proudly among a cluster of corrugated-iron-roofed low-level buildings. A rusty tractor and an old Volvo estate are parked in front of the house and different types of fowl are strutting across the concrete.
I pull up next to the Volvo, careful not to run over any of the chickens, and get out of the car. The ground is uneven under the flimsy soles of my flat sandals as I make my way to the front porch. Even from here I can smell the unique scent of their house: a combination of home-cooked food mixed with wet dog and damp clothes.
The door opens after my second knock and an elderly woman stands on the threshold. She’s round-shoulderedand tiny, like one of those peg dolls, with a mass of white-blonde hair. I’m assuming this must be Drew’s mum, and she can’t be that different in age from my own mum, even though she looks decades older.
‘Hello,’ I begin, wondering how best to explain my presence without upsetting her. I don’t know what Drew’s told her, if anything. ‘I’m a … friend of Drew’s. He’s expecting me.’
She flashes me a knowing smile and I realize, too late, that she thinks we’re a couple. ‘Of course, come in. We love meeting Drew’s friends. Not that he has many who come to the house any more, and none as pretty as you.’ Despite myself I flush and follow her inside. The narrow hallway is cluttered with boxes, which we have to weave past as she leads me to a gloomy kitchen at the back of the house.
‘Take a seat, my love, while I go and fetch Drew. Can I get you a cup of tea or anything?’
‘Ah, no, thanks, I’m good.’ I return her smile.
