I follow Adrian into the front room. It’s empty, apart from the three of us. We stand in the middle, uncomfortable, on edge. Adrian’s acting a bit skittish around him, talking in the fake jovial way he does when he’s nervous. Is this man a detective? No, he can’t be. He seems too passive somehow.
I step forward and introduce myself, thrusting out a hand. He takes it and pumps it up and down a few times. His feels hot and slightly sweaty.
‘Pleased to meet you,’ he says. He has a soft Mancunian accent. ‘I’m Nigel Perry.’
Nigel Perry. Nigel.
Selena’s husband.
There’s something vulnerable about him. He’s tall and skinny, his grey suit hanging off him, the jacket slightly too short in the arms. Or maybe it’s the pain behind his pale blue eyes: they burn with it.
‘Please sit down. Adrian will get you some tea.’
Adrian looks glad to have an excuse to leave the room.
I take a seat opposite Nigel. He’s nothing like I expected. Hearing Selena talk about him, I’d imagined a large, stocky man with an aggressive stance and a loud voice. Instead he seems mild-mannered and placid. Mum told me Selena had lied about Nigel being violent. This man doesn’t look as though he has it in him. But I know, better than most, that appearances can be deceiving, as they were with Selena. Child abusers don’t look a certain way and neither do violent spouses.
‘Have you come from Cheshire?’ I ask.
‘I drove down last night. I’m staying at the pub in the village. I didn’t think it appropriate to stay here.’ He smiles shyly.
‘I’m sorry. About Selena,’ I say.
‘The police asked me a lot of questions. But I want to assure you that I didn’t kill her. I have an alibi. She left me. But I loved her.’
‘I know you couldn’t have killed her,’ I say. It was somebody who was in the house. ‘And I believe you loved her.’ Even though she probably lied to you over and over and over again.
Adrian comes in with a tray of mugs. Outside I see that it’s got dark. I wonder if Mum’s put the dinner on. Ruby. Is Nigel here to take her home even though he’s not her biological father? My heart starts to pound and I reach for my inhaler. It’s not in my pocket. I must have left it upstairs. I take a deep breath instead, trying to quell the panic and the tightness in my chest. Questions are layered in my mind. I don’t know which to ask Nigel first.
Adrian hands him a mug. ‘I didn’t know if you took sugar,’ he says apologetically.
‘No sugar.’ Nigel takes the mug. I notice his hand is trembling as he lifts it to his lips.
Adrian places mine on the coffee-table but I barely acknowledge it. All I can think about is the man sitting opposite me. I notice he’s wearing smart lace-up shoes. They look expensive. Selena would have liked that. She had a thing about men’s shoes. She said it showed the type of man they were. If trainers were scuffed and messy it meant the man wearing them hadn’t grown up. If they wore good-quality leather shoes that were polished to a shine, they were dependable and classy. I thought that was a load of crap.
I go straight for the jugular. ‘I found some text messages that Selena sent you from my spare phone,’ I say. ‘In them you say something about a letter. What did you argue about that last night? Why did Selena leave?’
Nigel winces at my direct question. He clears his throat. ‘It’s – it’s awkward now that she’s no longer with us. You have to understand that I loved her. And Ruby. She’s not my biological daughter, I always knew that, but Selena tried to make me believe she was. I’m not stupid. I knew she was already pregnant when we met. But I led her to believe I thought the baby was mine. And I loved Ruby like she was my own. However, over the years, Selena slipped away from me. I understood why. All her time was taken up looking after a chronically ill child. But lately … lately I’ve begun to wonder if she was playing up Ruby’s illness.’
I don’t say anything but I can see Adrian sit up straighter. ‘What do you mean?’ he says.
A faint blush crawls up his neck. ‘She made out Ruby needed a wheelchair. It puzzled me as there was nothing wrong with the way Ruby walked. But she did get tired at times so I let it go. But when we were out and Selena got attention she seemed to revel in it.’ He coughs. Adrian and I wait for him to continue. ‘I had my suspicions but nothing concrete, until I read a letter she’d left on the sideboard from the NHS to say that Ruby’s recent allergy tests were negative. When I challenged her about it she denied it all. She said Ruby was ill and that I was jealous of the time she spent with her.’ He looks stricken. ‘And it’s partly true. I did sometimes feel jealous.’
‘What are you saying? That Selena made up Ruby’s illness?’ asks Adrian, in disbelief. He turns to me with a can-you-believe-this-guy look on his face. Noble and kind, Adrian looks for the good in everyone.
‘My sister-in-law is a GP. She suspects the same,’ I say to Nigel. Adrian’s head whips round and he stares at me, his mouth hanging open.
Nigel gazes at the mug in his hands. ‘Ruby heard us rowing. It was awful. We hardly argued normally, but Selena was in a right state. She accused me of calling her a liar. She was very indignant, of course. I tried to back down – after all, I didn’t know what I was talking about. It was only suspicions I had. But she told me she was leaving me. I begged her …’ His composure melts and he stops talking. I can see why she chose him. He adored her – that much is obvious. She’d told me he worked away a lot. He’s not her usual type but he obviously has money so would have offered her the security she craved. She probably walked all over him. I expect this was the only time he ever questioned her mothering skills. And she couldn’t bear it, so she left him.
‘Would it … would it be possible to see Ruby?’ he says, his eyes finding mine.
I experience a flicker of contempt for him. He could have stopped Ruby’s abuse if he hadn’t been so weak. Or so blinded by love for Selena. That child suffered and he did nothing to stop it.
‘How many operations did Ruby have?’ I say, my voice cold.
He looks from me to Adrian in panic. ‘Um, I’m not sure exactly. I wasn’t there a lot of the time. She had a number of hospital admissions. I’d say at least three or four operations …’
The room spins and I have to close my eyes. I feel like I’m on a fairground ride. When I open them again Adrian is leading Nigel from the room. When Adrian reaches the door, he regards me. His eyes are accusing.You knew,they say.You knew and you didn’t tell me.
