‘That’s why you gave her your number? So you could arrange your little rendezvous?’ I should have twigged before. I knew Selena had gone to meet someone and I’d bumped into Nathan coming back from the village that day. That explains why she’d behaved so strangely around him.
He hangs his head. ‘She wanted to meet,’ he mumbles to his shoes.
‘Have you told the police?’
His head shoots up. ‘Not yet. That liaison officer was probing this morning but then she got a call and rushed off. Anyway, I wanted to tell Julia first.’
‘You’ve had two days!’
‘It’s not easy! Don’t be judgemental. We’re not all bloody perfect like you!’
‘Oh, fuck off!’ I’m hurt. Especially as I know that I’m anything but perfect.
I stand my ground, although I want to storm off, the silence yawning between us. Nathan lights another cigarette and inhales deeply. I move away slightly. Smoke isn’t good for my asthma.
‘We met in the park,’ he says. ‘I’d told Julia I wanted some time alone.’
I groan. ‘This is a bloody mess.’
He takes another drag. ‘We weren’t together long. Just enough time for Selena to tell me about Ruby. It made sense. The dates matched. She said …’ his voice breaks ‘… she said she’d heard that Julia was finding it hard to get pregnant. She wanted me to know I was a father.’ I can’t help but think that was selfish of Selena. One-upmanship on Julia?
I take a deep breath. Although I’m standing a few feet away from Nathan I can still smell the smoke and I cough. Nathan notices. ‘I’m sorry.’ He stamps out the cigarette. ‘She said the ball was in my court. And then she left. I walked around for a bit by myself and then headed back to the guesthouse. That’s when I saw you.’
‘Was Selena there when you came in?’
‘I’m not sure. I didn’t see her. I went upstairs when I got back. Julia was cross with me and we argued … I still haven’t admitted to the police that I was asleep in the playroom when Selena died.’
‘Oh, Nathan,’ I sigh, ‘why not?’
‘I don’t know. Julia said … We agreed it would be better not to say anything.’ He groans. ‘We only ever spent one night together.’
‘It only takes one bloody night,’ I say, through clenched teeth. It begins to rain lightly and I shiver, pulling my coat tighter around my body. I scrunch up the card with Nathan’s number on it and put it into my coat pocket. Hiding more evidence. I’m already protecting Mum, now Nathan and Julia too. I feel weighed down by it all.
I have a sudden thought. I turn to him. ‘Does Mum know?’
He balks. ‘I hope not! Can you imagine?’ He still hasn’t shaved and he rubs at his stubble. ‘Unless …’ he pulls a face as though he’s swallowed something unpleasant ‘… unless Selena told her. Do you think she would?’
‘I think if Mum knew Ruby was her grandchild she would have told me,’ I say. Although that isn’t necessarily true. It’s obvious now that Mum can keep her own secrets. Maybe that was why she invited Nathan here in the first place, so that Selena could tell him. It makes sense. ‘Did she suggest that you and Julia come to stay? Or was it your idea?’
‘It was hers, of course. And then, because it was her birthday, we thought it would be a good idea.’
‘Then maybe Mum did know.’ She was the one person Selena didn’t lie to, it seems.
He groans. ‘I’m going to have to tell her, aren’t I?’
‘Julia?’
He nods.
‘Of course you are.’ I don’t want to ask the next question but I have to. Because something doesn’t add up. Why hasn’t he told the truth to the police about where he was sleeping when Selena died? Was it because he wanted an alibi? It’s inching its way up my throat and I choke it out. ‘Did you push Selena down the stairs?’
He jumps away from me as if I’ve shot at him. ‘What?Ofcoursenot. Is that what you really think?’
‘I don’t know what to think. Maybe you bumped into her as you were going back to your room. You could have rowed at the top of the stairs. Maybe you didn’t want her to tell Julia the truth.’
‘I can’t believe you think I could do something like that!’
‘It might have been an accident. A spur-of-the-moment thing. Nathe?’ I look around to check we’re still alone. ‘You can tell me.’ Although if he did suddenly confess what would I do with that information? Hide it along with everything else?
