‘And physically?’
‘Like I said earlier, I don’t know her history. I think you should register her so that they can collate her notes from the GP where she lived with Selena. Maybe Selena’s husband could also help. He must have notes and medical letters. Referrals. That kind of thing. But, if I’m honest, she looked a bit malnourished to me.’
‘That’s understandable, though, isn’t it? With her allergies and Crohn’s and everything?’
Julia hesitates. ‘Yes, in a way. But she’s had Crohn’s and allergies for a long time. She would have been referred to a dietician. With Crohn’s there are flare-ups. She might not suffer all the time.’ That would make sense, considering she’s had no adverse reaction to the cream and marshmallows Evie gave her. ‘And she might be naturally skinny anyway – you said Selena was as a kid, but there are signs of recent dehydration …’
‘Well, she was blue-lighted into hospital the other night. She had a fit.’
Julia looks grave. ‘Did Selena say what caused it?’
I think back. ‘I’m sure she said it was a virus.’
‘It would be really useful to have her notes. Can you give me the name of your GP? I’ll sort something out. We need her records as a matter of urgency. If I can find out who her dietician is, he or she could give me her diet sheet. At least then we’d know exactly what we’re dealing with.’
‘That would be great, thank you.’ I flash her a grateful smile.
‘Listen,’ she says, lowering her voice. ‘I just want to say I’m so sorry.’
I assume she means Selena. ‘It’s been a shock to us all. Reunited after all these years just to lose her again.’
She looks embarrassed. ‘I meant about what happened last year. You know, with Adrian. How we weren’t there for you.’ She reaches out and touches my shoulder. ‘I was going through so much with the failed IVF. My mind was all over the place. It was taking a toll on our relationship. Nathan and I … Well, we almost split up over it.’
I pause, thrown. They almost split up? I couldn’t bear to lose Julia. She makes Nathan nicer, not so annoying. She keeps him in line, stops him becoming that geeky, thoughtless man I know he can be. Not because he’s unkind but because he doesn’t think. He’d never remember Mum’s birthday – or mine, or the girls’ – if it wasn’t for Julia. If it wasn’t for Julia I doubt I’d hear from Nathan for months at a time. Don’t get me wrong, Julia’s not a saint. She’s steely – as a GP she has to be. She’s had to deal with some horrific situations in her job. And when she gets something into her head she can be stubborn. She badgered Nathan about going for counselling when they first met. She felt he had hang-ups about his biological mother giving him away, even though Nathan insisted he didn’t. She didn’t give up until Nathan finally agreed. And, even though she’s invariably polite, I can always tell if she doesn’t like someone.
Like Selena.
Maybe she’d felt threatened by her. Maybe she’d noticed the tension between her and Nathan. Whatever it was, I know she’d never tell me. I’m sure she’s fond of me, but she’ll always see me as Nathan’s sister first and foremost.
‘I’m so sorry,’ I say, after a beat of silence. ‘I knew there were problems, but I didn’t realize it was that bad.’
She shakes her head. ‘It’s all okay now. We’re getting there.’
There’s something she’s not telling me. Is it about the morning Selena died? Nathan was in the playroom, which is right next to the stairs. I know he was sleeping off a hangover but I’m surprised he didn’t hear Selena fall. And he was so weird afterwards, asking me to keep it from the police that he wasn’t with Julia.
‘You know you can tell me anything,’ I say.
‘He’s your brother.’
‘Yes. And even though I love him I know what an idiot he can be at times.’
We’re interrupted by the sounds of children playing and I look towards the bi-fold doors. Mum is in the garden with Amelia, Evie and Ruby. Evie is running around with a princess costume on and Amelia is sitting with the rabbits on her lap. But it’s Ruby I can’t tear my eyes away from: she’s trying to run after Evie in her leg braces. And then she flops to the grass and begins to undo them, slipping them off. I jump from my seat. Julia, who is also watching, gets up too.
‘What is she doing?’ she asks.
Mum notices and rushes over to Ruby, but she’s up from the ground and walking unaided. She’s unsteady at first but then gains confidence, her strides lengthening as she gradually becomes more sure-footed.
‘Look at her,’ I say in wonderment. Maybe the fresh air and the mountains are good for her. ‘She seems fine walking on her own.’
Julia’s also watching, her face in profile, her eyes narrowed.
For the first time I wonder if Selena was too ready with the leg braces and the wheelchair. She was being over-protective – though I understand that. I’d probably be the same.
‘Evie’s obviously good for her,’ observes Julia, as we continue to watch Ruby. She’s trying to run now, with Mum close behind. And then Ruby and Evie flop on to the damp grass together, giggling. ‘Being with other children will help her grow stronger.’
We return to our stools. ‘Sorry, Julia. What were you going to say?’
‘It’s nothing. Please don’t worry. Everything’s fine.’
