Her face is drawn and she looks as though she’s been crying. ‘Darling, there’s been an accident. Selena’s fallen down the stairs. But Nana’s gone with her to the hospital.’
‘Will she be okay?’ asks Evie, climbing on to my lap.
‘I hope so,’ I say, putting my arms around them both. ‘I really hope so.’
Adrian and I get through breakfast, side by side. I put him on cooking duty while I serve the guests. The Greysons are up early and in their hiking gear. They’re going to attempt to climb Pen Y Fan today, according to Susie, although the two boys look thoroughly bored at the prospect. I don’t mention the accident and they don’t ask. I feel guilty for even thinking it but I worry about our reputation. If they did hear an ambulance they may have assumed it was for Ruby again.
I try to keep my voice light, as though nothing has happened, even though my stomach churns with anxiety. I keep checking my phone but there’s still no news from Mum.
The Greysons leave as Janice walks in, Horace under her arm. She’s dressed in a bright pink caftan over dove-grey wide-legged trousers.
‘I heard a bit of a commotion earlier,’ she says, settling herself at the table by the window. She likes to sit at the same one every morning. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Um …’ I scan the room. It’s empty apart from us. Nathan has gone to get dressed and Julia is with Ruby. I assume she’s telling her about Selena and I’m grateful that she’s here.
‘Someone’s died, haven’t they?’ she says suddenly.
‘No … but one of the guests – my cousin, actually … Well, she fell.’
‘What?’ She moves Horace off her lap and on to the next chair. ‘The pretty blonde one? Is she okay?’
‘We’re not sure yet.’
‘Oh, I’m sorry, my love. Bless you, you look all shook up.’
She’s prevented from saying any more by the arrival of Julia and Ruby, her little face pale and worried.
I help Julia with Ruby’s chair. ‘Everything okay?’
Julia nods, and says brightly, ‘We’re just going to have some breakfast, aren’t we, Ruby? Until Mummy and Aunty Carol come back. Ruby says she’s allowed porridge made with water. And a banana.’
I smile gratefully at Julia and go off to fetch everybody’s orders. When Amelia and Evie come down with Nathan, it’s hard to believe that this has actually happened.
I just pray Selena will be okay. That after all the years we have been apart she’ll come home soon.
I put the phone down and sit on the bottom step, my throat dry. Tears run down my cheeks, dropping from my chin on to my lap.
‘Mummy?’ I glance up. Evie stares down at me, her eyes round with wonderment. Amelia is standing behind her, clearly horrified. The only time they ever witness me crying is at the end of a Disney film. Even when Adrian had his breakdown I was careful to hide my emotions from them.
Adrian appears behind them, embracing them protectively.
I concentrate on pulling myself together but I can’t get the image of Selena’s crumpled body from my mind. I take one of their hands in each of mine. ‘Listen. You both have to be really strong, okay? We’ve just had the news that Selena … died.’
I hear the gasp escape Adrian’s lips. Evie bursts into tears. Adrian pulls us all into a group hug. Over their heads I notice Nathan standing in the office doorway. He’s staring at me with a look of horror on his face, then turns and slams out of the front door.
I’d always thought I’d be practical in a crisis. I dealt with Adrian’s suicide attempt and breakdown calmly. But this, this I can’t do. I can’t be the one to tell Ruby that her mother is dead. In the end, it’s Julia who goes to her room to tell her, Julia who cradles her as she convulses into sobs.
I’m in the playroom comforting Amelia and Evie when Adrian appears. Evie is still crying but Amelia sits stiffly on the sofa, her hands folded in her lap.
‘The police are here. We need to keep everyone away from the stairs and hallway if possible. There’s a forensics team and a policeman taking pictures.’ He grimaces. ‘It’s all a bitCSI.’
I lower my voice so the girls can’t hear: ‘But there’s been no crime,’ I whisper.
‘I know. It’s procedure, I suppose.’ He kneels down next to me and, so quietly I can barely hear him, he says, ‘Carol rang again. I’m going to pick her up from the hospital. She’s in a bit of a state.’
I nod. ‘Okay. Thank you for doing that.’
I can’t bear the thought of the police here. What will the guests think? I’m going to have to tell them. But it was an accident. It must have been. She tripped, unable to get her balance, and hit her head on the tiles or the skirting board as she fell. The thought sends a shiver through me. It could have happened to the girls. Those original tiles are death traps. If we’d put wooden flooring over them – or, better still, carpet – it wouldn’t have happened. She might have broken an arm, or her leg, but not smashed her head against such a hard surface. I start to shake.
