‘Then who would do this?’ Adrian shakes the rope at me. ‘Who would dare come into our home and do something like this? While I’m in there?’ He indicates the bedroom.
‘Ade. Calm down.’ I take the rope from him. He storms into the bedroom. I follow and watch as he sits on the bed, his head in his hands. I join him and put my arms around him. ‘I’ll find out who did it,’ I say.
He lifts his head, his eyes baggy and bloodshot. How dare someone do this to him? To us? We came here for a new start. We don’t need to be reminded of the past.
‘Do you think it’s the same person who left the flowers a few days ago?’ he asks. ‘I’d assumed it was just kids messing about. But now …’
I can’t bring myself to tell him about the second bunch of dead flowers. The calla lilies. Myweddingflower. ‘I don’t know,’ I admit.
He doesn’t have to say it but I know what’s he’s thinking. Because I’m thinking the same thing. This is personal.
17
I leave Adrian upstairs although I know he’s on edge and I’m furious that his equilibrium has been interrupted by a sick joke. My mind is racing as I go to find Mum. She’s still pottering around in the kitchen.
‘Where’s Evie?’ I can’t keep the panic out of my voice.
She turns to me, dishcloth in hand. ‘Outside with Selena and Ruby.’
‘Selena’s here?’
‘I’ve just said she’s outside. What’s wrongnow?’ The Hughes family aren’t allowed to be anything other than level-headed and considered. ‘And what’s that in your hand?’
I show her the noose and explain what happened. ‘Have you told anyone? About Adrian’s attempted suicide?’ Her face tells me what I want to know. ‘Mum!’ I cry in exasperation. ‘Why?’
‘I didn’t know it was a secret. I’ve only told Selena and she’d never do something like that.’
‘You do know we haven’t told the girls?’
‘That’s different. They’re children. And I’m sure Selena isn’t about to tell them.’
That’s not the point, and she knows it.
‘What else have you told Selena?’ I demand. ‘She said you’ve kept in touch over the years. Have you been sitting around gossiping about me and my family?’
‘Of course I haven’t. And there’s no need for hysterics,’ she says, infuriating me further.
I open my mouth to reply when Selena wafts in from the garden, smelling of fresh air and bonfire smoke. Her cheeks are as rosy as the apples dropping from our trees and she’s smiling to herself. Behind her, I can see that Ruby is in her wheelchair with a rabbit on her lap. There are tyre marks in the grass, and churned-up mud. It must have been an effort for Selena to manoeuvre that chair across the lawn.
Selena looks relaxed. Happy, even. While I’m feeling more stressed out by the hour, the reverse is true for Selena. The only time I’ve seen her thrown off balance since she arrived is when she saw Nathan again. And, not for the first time, I feel a twinge of envy that she has a better relationship with my mother than I do.
She blows on her hands, which are red and chapped. Despite the low sun, I can see from the frost, which still hasn’t melted, that it’s cold. Evie’s not wearing a coat and I resist the urge to run outside with one.
‘Have you had any lunch? Has Ruby had something to eat?’ I ask her.
‘I brought Selena and Ruby some lunch while I was making it for the girls,’ interrupts Mum, before Selena can say anything. ‘In their bedroom.’ She smiles at Selena indulgently.
Of course she did. Nothing’s too much where Selena is concerned.
Selena returns Mum’s smile. ‘You’re spoiling us, Aunty Carol.’
‘So what’s going on with Dean?’ I ask, not wanting to let her off the hook so easily. ‘And what’s with you and Nathan? There’s definitely tension between you. It’s like you’re avoiding him.’
I can feel, rather than see, Mum glaring at me. I know she’d rather I didn’t say anything. She wants to keep the peace. Anything to avoid a row. A scene.
‘I don’t know what you mean,’ says Selena. But her body language has changed: her back is rigid, making her collarbones stick out. She avoids eye contact as she makes her way to the cupboard opposite and takes out a glass, running it under the cold tap. It irks me that she’s treating this kitchen as if it’s her own. Technically guests aren’t allowed in here. I know I’m being immature and petty and I hate myself for it. She is family, after all.
I make an effort to lighten my voice. ‘You didn’t come in to say hello yesterday, when Nathan arrived. And you stayed away from him at breakfast.’
