‘No,’ says Evie, in a small voice. ‘And I have Lucinda. She’s my lucky charm, you know. She’ll protect me.’
I don’t know where she got that idea. I catch Amelia’s eye. We grimace and laugh conspiratorially.
‘What?’ asks Evie. ‘What’s funny?’
‘Nothing, sweet cheeks,’ I say, taking her hand. ‘Why don’t we go and see Ruby?’
When we get to Selena’s room the door is open and Dean is leaning against the jamb. He’s still wearing his thick boots. My heart sinks.
‘Who’s that?’ asks Evie, in a loud whisper.
‘A friend of Selena’s,’ I say. ‘He’s staying here too. In a different room.’
When he sees us approaching, he smiles at me, which throws me a little.
‘Everything all right?’ I ask, in an effort to remain professional.
He drapes an arm over Selena’s shoulders. She looks tiny next to him. ‘Great. Oh, and while you’re here, would it be okay to have some more coffee? I’ve used all the sachets.’
Already? He’s only been here a few hours.
He lifts his shoulders in what I take to be an apology.
The girls push past us to see Ruby and crowd around her bed.
‘Um. Sure, I’ll go and get some,’ I say. ‘I’ll be two secs.’ I hurry to the kitchen and find the box of sachets in the cupboard. I grab a handful and dash back. I don’t want to leave Amelia and Evie with them for too long.
When I get back, Dean is leaning into Selena and whispering something in her ear. She’s not smiling.
When he spots me, he moves away from her and opens his hands, as if he’s begging, and I tip the sachets into them.
‘Thanks.’ Then, to Selena, he winks and says, ‘And I’ll seeyoulater.’ We watch in silence as he walks down the hallway and rounds the stairs.
Then she turns to me, shamefaced. ‘I’m sorry about Dean,’ she whispers. ‘I didn’t know he was going to show up here.’
‘What’s going on?’
She darts a look at the girls. ‘He knows I’ve left Nigel.’
‘But how? You haven’t seen him in years.’
She shuffles her feet and studies one of the floor tiles. The tell-tale rash creeps up her neck. Why is she nervous? ‘Well … I have. When I’ve been back to Cardiff visiting Mum. And we’ve kept in touch.’
There’s something about this that doesn’t ring true. Why would this new adult Selena, who’s reinvented herself into a middle-class yummy-mummy, want anything to do with an old boyfriend who’s always been a bit of a yob? But maybe that’s unfair. Her husband sounds like a brute and Dean has been perfectly polite since he’s been here. I can’t judge him on what he was like at eighteen. A thought suddenly strikes me. ‘Have you been having an affair with him?’
Her head shoots up. ‘No, of course not. We’re friends. That’s all.’
‘Then why is he here?’
‘Because he says he’s in love with me, and wants us to be together.’
I glance anxiously at the girls – particularly Amelia, who has ears like a bat – but they’re all huddled in bed, Ruby in the middle, as she proudly recounts her trip in an ambulance. I move closer to Selena, keeping my voice low: ‘And you? How do you feel about him?’
She smiles tightly and avoids eye contact as she says simply, ‘He’s my first love.’
Nathan arrives at teatime and we take over the living room. Luckily all the guests are still out and Dean is upstairs. Selena is with him. I noticed her sneaking up fifteen minutes ago while Ruby was having a nap and she is yet to come down. I think she’s lying to me about not knowing Dean was coming and, once again, I’m annoyed that she’s bringing her drama into my life.
Nathan is making a fuss of Amelia and Evie, showering them with chocolate, while Julia looks on wistfully. She seems thinner since the last time I saw her. A few years older than me, she’s a GP at her local surgery, whip-smart and funny, with dark shoulder-length hair and big chestnut eyes. I’d always admired her. She liked to joke that Nathan, four years her junior, was her toy boy but I always wondered what she saw in him. As much as I love him, Nathan hasn’t really grown up. He’ll spend hours on his PlayStation 4 after work – he’s an accountant for a firm in Cardiff, and hates it. He fell into it not long after leaving university and stayed. His passions are football, beer and FIFA, although a few years ago Julia got him into climbing. It’s probably the only exercise he does. But he’s funny and kind and adores Julia – as do we all. She’s the main breadwinner. I sometimes wonder if not being able to have children is harder on him than her. He had planned to give up his job when the baby came, but after each failed IVF attempt, talk of babies tailed off, and now we’re all scared to mention it. It’s a wonder we have anything to say to each other with so many subjects off limits.
