It was perfect.
Sitka.
Chapter 13
Gwen
After showering, Gwen applied makeup for the first time since June was born, all in preparation for her visit with Leigh. She had the diaper bag stocked and June secured in the car seat with a half hour to spare. According to the map app, Leigh’s condo was only twelve minutes away.
She stood at the kitchen island, the car seat on the floor by her feet, and scrolled through Instagram, pausing on Angeni Luna’s latest post about a book deal. She watched the video of her people presenting her with a cake, singing to her. The baby, Freya, squirmed in her mother’s arms, and when Gwen zoomed in closer, she thought she detected a touch of annoyance on Angeni’s face. So she was human, after all.
June started to grunt, little expressions of impatience or discomfort, and Gwen put her foot on the edge of the car seat and rocked it back and forth while she continued passing time on her phone. She couldn’t help but look up Leigh’s address on Zillow. It was a condo in an eighteen-unit building in a great location, half the value of Gwen and Jeff’s house, despite being about the same square footage. When Gwen and Jeff had bought their little house in Madison Park, one of the nicer Seattle neighborhoods, Gwen had been so sure of the decision. It was a good investment in an area that would always be desirable. Their daughter would have access to top-notch schools. They would be surrounded by successful, well-off peoplewho shared their values. But now, Gwen envied Leigh, even though she hadn’t even seen her home yet. She envied that she was just steps from restaurants and bars, able to keep one foot in her old life. Plus, if Gwen and Jeff had stayed in their apartment instead of taking on an enormous mortgage, Gwen wouldn’t have to go back to work full-time. She and Jeff hadn’t even discussed that yet—the coming-too-soon end of her maternity leave, her accompanying dread. She had been quite certain that she would slip back into her full-time work life with ease. She’d always loved her job. Hadn’t she? She didn’t even know who she was anymore.
“Okay, June Bug, ready to go see some friends?” she said in the singsong voice she’d acquired, another surprise of new motherhood.
June looked at her with faint interest, and Gwen lifted the car seat and lugged it out to click into the back seat of her car.
They arrived in front of Leigh’s building on Eleventh Avenue just before two o’clock, right on time. They’d decided on an afternoon meetup, agreeing that the mornings were somewhat routinized and smooth, while the afternoons were marked by frayed nerves and meltdowns (for both the babies and the adults).
The building was a modern but cozy three-story, painted sapphire blue, right across from Cal Anderson Park. Gwen used to run on the park’s jogging path when she and Jeff lived downtown.
When Gwen got out of the car, she heard her name: “Gwen! Hi!”
She turned to see Leigh on one of the third-floor terraces, the corner penthouse, waving frantically as if she’d been stranded there for months and Gwen was her rescue boat. Gwen waved back, just as frantically, caught up in their mutual excitement.
Gwen unlatched the car seat and held it up for Leigh to see, as if sayingLook, I have a baby!Leigh bent down, disappearing from view, before reappearing with Belle in her arms, holding her overhead in a hilarious reenactment of the Mufasa-Simba moment fromThe Lion King.
“Let me buzz you in,” she called down to Gwen.
Gwen was relieved to see an elevator in the lobby so she wouldn’t have to carry June in the car seat up three flights of stairs. When the elevator doors parted, Leigh and Belle were there. Leigh, like Gwen, was wearing makeup, which made Gwen feel less self-conscious about the time she’d spent pulling herself together for this little meetup. Belle looked like she was about to start wailing any second but was waiting for just the right time to have maximal impact.
“We’ve had a bit of a morning,” Leigh said.
“Isn’t every morning a bit of a morning?”
Leigh led them down the hall to their unit and opened the front door. The inside was immaculate and stylish—white walls adorned with huge, colorful abstract paintings; wood floors done in a herringbone pattern; furniture that appeared curated for the space instead of transported from past homes over many years (like Gwen and Jeff’s furniture). Gwen’s eyes went straight to the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room, the giant sliding door that went out to the terrace where Leigh had greeted Gwen.
“Wow, you have such gorgeous views,” she said, setting down the car seat and wandering into the living room to stare out the windows.
“Yeah, on sunny days like today, it’s pretty amazing,” Leigh said.
June started crying, and Gwen turned around, remembering that she’d left her in the car seat by the front door. For the briefest of moments, she’d allowed herself to be lured by the views and completely forgotten her responsibility for this tiny human being.
She lifted June from the car seat, held her against her chest, patted her back.
“Was it an easy drive?” Leigh asked.
“Oh yeah, we’re just in Madison Park.”
Leigh’s eyes grew wide for a second, long enough to express surprise at Gwen’s financial status. In her ratty old sweatpants, Gwen certainly was not dressed like someone who could afford a house in Madison Park.
Belle started fussing in Leigh’s arms, and Leigh sighed.
“Like I said, we’ve had a morning,” she said. “Do you mind if I try to feed her again?”
“Not at all. I might try with June too.”
Both of them sat on the couch facing the terrace. It was an oversize couch with deep cushions. Gwen felt like she could sink into it and never come out. They lifted their shirts and unfastened identical nursing bras. The babies latched in what looked like choreographed synchronicity.
