Britt stared off at the targets in the distance and said, “I know.” Because she did know. He had tried harder and stayed longer than he should have.
When she looked back at him, their eyes met, and she had to restrain herself from grabbing his hands and shoutingTake me with you. He must have noticed her eyes were pleading for something, though, because he was the one to reach across the table, to take her hands and squeeze them.
“I’m so sorry, Britt,” he said.
A fat tear rolled down his cheek. It was the first time Britt had ever seen a man cry.
“I knew this would happen at some point,” she said.
It wasn’t ashould have knownsituation. She had known, all along, that it was too good to be true. She was upset that she’d let herself get swept up in the goodness and been willfully ignorant to the truth.
“I’m sorry that your life with her up to this point has caused you to expect so little,” he said.
It was the most poignant thing she’d ever heard.
“You’ve been like a daughter to me,” he said.
He must have thought she would find that endearing, but it just made her furious. She wasn’t really like a daughter to him. If she was, he wouldn’t leave. Or he would take her with him.
“Where are we gonna go?” she asked.
He was leaving them, yes, in all the ways that mattered. But they were living in his home. Britt and her mother would be the ones doing the actual leaving.
“I’m going to tell her there’s no rush. You two can stay as long as you need to. I’ll help you find a place,” he said, rushing to fill in the blanks. So many blanks.
Britt had become so settled into this life at Steve’s house. She had made the mistake of getting comfortable, relaxing her vigilance, daring to calm her mind instead of always thinking ahead to the next potential crisis. She could feel the parts of her brain that had previously been dedicated to managing the chaos of her mother awaken again.
“The minute you tell her it’s over, she’s going to want to leave,” Britt said.
Because her mother was never reasonable in these situations.
“I’m going to try my best to keep things mellow,” he said.
“Famous last words.”
That made him chuckle.
“Maybe we can still go shooting sometimes?” Britt said.
Her voice was small when she said this. She felt silly admitting her desire to stay in touch. She braced herself for his rejection.
“I’d love that, but I just worry about your mom finding out.”
“She won’t find out.”
“I don’t know,” he said. “We should probably wait awhile, let things settle, then see.”
She knew then that she would never see him again. Britt stood from the table, unable to see any point in continuing the conversation.
“One day, she won’t be your problem to manage anymore,” he said. “I hope you know that.”
Britt stood, hands on her hips. “She’s my mother,” she said. “She’ll always be my problem.”
He shook his head in adamant denial of this.
“No,” he said. “You’re going to grow up and go off on your own and have your own life. You are meant for more.”
Britt shrugged. “I don’t know if it matters what I’m meant for.”
