“Oh,” she said. “Yeah. I can help.”
Angeni noticed Aurora’s shoulders slump slightly. Always adept at reading a room and soothing hurt feelings when she saw them, she said, “Ror, maybe you can take on more of the meal prep and cooking I’ve been doing. We can come up with weekly menus together.”
Her eyes lit up. “That sounds great.”
“This feels good,” Angeni said. “I think I’ll respond to the literary agent later today.”
“So happy for you, babe,” Erik said.
She gave Erik a loving smile. He was so devoted to her. Her happiness was his. She felt sad for women who settled for anything less than this.
“Sitka, do you mind joining us at the island?” Angeni asked. “I think we need a community inhale.”
They did these every now and then, when discussing any big decisions related to their lives on The Land.
Sitka pushed herself up with one hand from the beanbag chair, holding Freya against her with the other hand. She retook her seat at the island, Freya in her lap. The six of them held hands around the island and closed their eyes.
“Okay, everyone, let’s exhale everything that isn’t serving us,” Angeni said.
They all exhaled loudly, some of their exhales transforming into drawn-out sighs.
“And now let’s take a big inhale of all that is possible for us.”
On cue, they all inhaled and held it for their usual count of eight. Then they opened their eyes and exhaled, their breaths mingling, a perceptible electricity in the air.
It was a rare sunny day, a break from the usual misty gray. It was as if the clouds had parted in celebration of Angeni’s book prospects. She was already thinking of the structure of the book, the chapters she would create. She was already imagining the glowing reviews, the expansion of her online community.
Just as she finished an email to the literary agent, suggesting they set up a phone call to talk, Sitka came to retrieve Freya for their daily nature walk.
“Mind if I join you two today?” Angeni asked.
Sitka shrugged as she reached for the baby. “Sure.”
The Land was eleven acres of forest, deep and dense enough to get lost in. Angeni loved this about it—the way it offered endless exploration, new discoveries. There were streams running through it, thin trickles of water in dryer months, gushing rivers after intense rainstorms. There were a few well-trodden paths weaving through the trees, foot-wide trails to keep them on course. She couldn’t wait for Freya to walk these trails, to touch the blades of grass, to pick the flowers in spring, to search the branches overhead for nests. She couldn’t wait to teach her daughter about all her favorite herbs and plants—motherwort, calendula, chamomile, lemon balm, feverfew. It was the ultimate gift to her daughter, this land. On it, Angeni could offer Freya an entire life.
“It’s so beautiful today,” Angeni said, face to the sky, skin absorbing the sun.
“It is,” Sitka said.
Freya was in the wrap on Angeni’s chest, and she started to whine. She wasn’t due for another feed, but Angeni figured she needed comfort.
“Stop for a few?” Angeni said.
They sat on a log, a fallen pine tree that Erik and the guys would need to clear at some point. Tending to The Land was a full-time job, and without Erik, Matt, and Jer, Angeni could not have this life, this beauty. She reminded herself of this whenever she felt stress or resentment creep in over her role as the primary earner.
Angeni removed Freya from the wrap and lifted her shirt so the baby could rest directly on her skin. Freya calmed immediately. Sitka leaned back, tilted her face to the sky, also absorbing the sun.
“Are you happy here?” Angeni asked her.
Angeni had started to become self-conscious that Sitka wasn’t happy. She’d become so quiet, so inward. She always seemed to be thinking about something, in another realm just out of reach.
“Me?” Sitka asked, looking over her shoulder, as if there were someone else with them.
Angeni laughed. “Yes, you!”
“Oh, sorry,” Sitka said. “Am I happy?”
Angeni nodded.
