“I know.” The same refrain.
He sighed. “I’m sure every new mom feels this way. Then you’ll go back to work and remember what you love about it.”
Did she once love work? She couldn’t even remember. She didn’t feel like a person capable of loving much of anything anymore.
“We could move.” These three words managed to escape.
He started smiling again, this strange expression incongruent with her turmoil.
“Gwen, we are not moving,” he said, adding a little laugh for good measure. “There’s no way we could sell the house for more than we bought it for. Besides, you love it here.”
Did she love it here? She didn’t know, but she nodded anyway.
“Besides, we already paid the deposit at the day care,” he added, a twist of the knife.
They had put the deposit on the day care place months before June was born—$2,000 to hold their spot. At the time, Gwen had been thankful to have a spot. She was undeterred by paying more than the monthly rent on their first apartment for the care of their child. She was that committed to returning to work.
Jeff put his hand on the always-tense muscles between her neck and her shoulder, gave them a squeeze. She forced a smile. She wasn’t going to get anywhere with him. She’d given him her truth, and he wanted her to take it back to where it had come from.
Leigh texted back:
Oh honey, it’s okay, truly. You’re being too hard on yourself. I’m sure the work thing is weighing on you. Monday? I didn’t realize it was so soon. Let’s chat when you’re back
By the time Gwen returned, Leigh was done feeding June and had her sitting on Belle’s play mat. Belle had fallen asleep in the stroller and was still sleeping as Gwen lifted her out and handed her over to Leigh. Gwen took a deep breath, readying herself for whatever heart-to-heart conversation Leigh wanted to have. Leigh wasn’t the type to just let things go.
“Have you seen this?” Leigh asked, holding her phone out to Gwen.
Gwen sat on the floor next to June, who seemed content as ever, and looked at Leigh’s phone. It was a Reddit thread titled “Where in the world is Angeni Luna?” Gwen had yet to notice, but apparently Angeni Luna hadn’t posted anything in twenty-four hours, and this was highly unusual. Savvy followers said that Erik also had not posted anything.The rumors were all over the place—their marriage had imploded, Angeni Luna had died, something had happened to baby Freya.
Gwen handed the phone back to Leigh and set June in her lap.
“Don’t tell me you’re not curious,” Leigh said.
Gwen shrugged. “It’s, like, aday. Maybe she just needed a break.”
“No. When these influencers take a break, they make a big to-do about it, likeOh, I need to take space to protect my mental health.”
Gwen laughed.
“So you think she’s dead?”
Leigh’s eyes were big with interest. “I don’t know. Maybe. Or maybe she had a mental breakdown like the rest of us.”
“NowthatI would like to see.”
“Right?”
“I’m sure some crazy person will go over to Bainbridge Island to investigate and report back on Reddit.”
“Oh my god,weshould be that crazy person.”
Gwen couldn’t tell if she was joking.
“I’m joking!” Leigh said. “You really think I’m insane, don’t you?”
“I mean, yes, sometimes.”
Leigh threw her head back, cackling. “You and Nathan both.”
