All too suddenly, a lump forms in my throat—in my gut. It’s distractingly loud and .?.?. painful.
It hits me sharp, like a cold wind cutting through our fire.
Willow gasps and pulls back, eyes wide with shock and a flicker of hurt.
I bite back a curse. This time at myself. I run a shaky hand down my face. How do you explain guilt from a ghost I simply can’t put to rest. “I’m sorry, I .?.?.”
Willow’s eyes dip to the side with a frown. And before I can finish the thought, she covers my mouth. “Shh. Do you hear that?”
I blink. The house is quiet except for some faint shuffling. We both flick our eyes to Ellie’s door. It opens slowly and we jump three feet apart.
Ellie steps out, sleepy, holding her pink bunny. She blinks, finding us in the hall. “I need the bathroom,” she whispers groggily, then pads on into the hallway bathroom.
Willow looks up at me sheepishly. “I’ll see her back to bed.”
I press two fingers to my temple. “No. I’ve got it. You were probably on your way down or .?.?. something?”
“For my Thermos. I got caught up reading and my tea went cold.”
I nod and switch on the light to illuminate the stairs for her.
“Goodnight.” She glances at my pocket. It’s not until the toilet flushes behind me that I realize I’ve lost focus. And it’s about time I get it back.
20
Willow:He kissed me last night.
Rose:He kissed you Friday night too.
Willow:It was different. Hotter.
Rose:Hope the kid wasn’t around.
Willow:Can you be real for a moment?
Rose:Don’t ask me to be real, Wil.
Willow:Why not?
Rose:Because “Real Rose” would tell you to be careful.
My stomach twists, fingers paralyzed over the screen. Not because I expected anything different from Rose. She’ll forever have my best interests at heart.
But because she’s dragging out that little voice in my head, saying the thing I’ve shoved aside. That I’m off the market. Done handing my heart out like it’s got an open return policy.
And I’m at risk of doing it again.
Rose:He’s had an intense year. And fighting a scary battle right now.
My chest tightens and I blow it off. For both our sakes.
Willow:It was just a kiss.
Rose:Fine. Kiss all you want. Just don’t go .?.?. you know.
Willow:Falling?
Rose:Yeah.
