“Your call did come as a surprise, though.” Cathy peered at me through her stylish lenses. “Last I remember talking to you, I thought you were close to finishing your degree? Shouldn’t you be out of school by now?”
I swallowed, feeling the drop in my stomach. “Yeah. I’d hoped. I had a few setbacks. I’m working at the cafe most days and hoping to start school again in the fall.” I failed to mention that I’d be finishing once I was accepted into a program again since I had flunked out previously.
“And this job on top of all that?” Her face looked incredulous, and I wanted nothing more than to move us past all of this.
“Yeah. I’m good. I like work.”
“I thought you were living with your grandma the past few years. I can’t imagine you being an impulsive spender. Your mom’s not hitting you up for money again, is she?”
I glanced at her, startled, before looking away. She sounded so aghast. Cathy had never been one to beat around the bush if she sensed something was off. I should have figured this meeting would be more than just hooking me up with my cleaning cart.
“No. She and Kip are on a big RV trip at the moment—last I heard. I had some things come up that set me back a bit.” I smiled brightly at her. “But I’m so grateful for this job. I’d love to get started.”
Cathy paused a few long moments before she cleared her throat and started in with her new hire information. A half hour later, after signing a stack of papers, she led me down a small hallway and into a room full of cleaning carts packed full with treatments for windows, floors, vacuums, toilet paper, and dusters.
“This is your cart. Your assignment every day will be the entire office at RDM, down the hall, and The Computer Company office space one floor above us. Vacuum and dust all the offices as needed, take out the garbage, clean the bathrooms.” She eyed me critically. “There is a card on your cart that tells you detailed information about how and what things should be done each day. Read through that. Every Friday, we vacuum the entire space, but during the weekday, we only do touch-ups as needed. If you have any further questions, come find me. I’m in my office until we close at nine. Don’t touch the desks or any personal items.”
“What if people are still working in their offices while I’m there?” It was five, so most would probably be going home, but according to my extensive knowledge of movies, there was always somebody staying late.
“If I were you, I’d do upstairs first and RDM last. Half the office is usually working late. If you’ve done all you can do on the floor and some are still in their office, I’d just knock on their door and see if they’d like their garbage emptied and then call it a night.”
I nodded.
“Alright, well, I’m headed back to my office. Let me know if you need anything.” She gave me a small smile as she left the room.
The door closed behind her with a thud, leaving me alone in the lifeless room. For a moment, I stood in the quiet and looked around, taking in my new reality. It was one thing to apply for a job, but it was quite another to pull on the yellow gloves and start scrubbing the toilets. I had worked in a cafe for half of my life. I was accustomed to sweat. This didn’t have to be any different. Nothing about this job was going to be different, so why were my hands shaking? My stomach about to be sick? Instead of racing upstairs to begin my assignment, I found myself holding onto the cart while I took several deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves. But the air did nothing. My feet stayed planted.
I had just seen the man who’d invaded my thoughts more times than I could count for the past three years. I no longer knew anything about him. He could be married or still be with the brunette I saw in those pictures. He could work somewhere in this office building, and maybe I’d see him in the elevator regularly. Maybe I’d be scrubbing his toilets before too long. Maybe he’d look at me with pity, seeing how I’d actually gone backward in life since our one night together.
What a cruel trick the past three years had played on me.
By habit, my hand reached for my phone, pulling up the student loan bill on my app. Though I’d already paid as much of it back as I could, the amount left was a crushing blow. The kind of blow that made it hard to see straight.
When I first saw Duke, I had been transported to a happier moment, an alternate blip in my reality that I thought about a disconcerting amount. I couldn’t have predicted how much I would have needed those happy memories over the next few years. But that was all it was. Happy memories. Now, I wasn’t sure I could face seeing him again. Knowing it was possible meant that I’d be double-checking for a dark-haired charmer around every corner. I wouldn’t hide if I saw him, but I certainly wouldn’t seek him out. At least, I was almost ninety seven percent sure I wouldn’t hide if I saw him. A ringing phone down the hallway startled me out of my thoughts and turned my emotions numb. I grabbed my cart and began rolling it toward the door. No. I wasn’t embarrassed by the work.
I was embarrassed by my life.
10
The soundof a rocket launching into space would have been quieter than the vacuum Cathy’s Cleaning Service issued to me. It was Friday, a week after my Duke sighting and I was vacuuming the long hallway at RDM. I hadn’t seen him again. I felt relieved and, at the same time, disappointed, and I hated myself for it. I had worked the afternoon shift at the cafe every day this week, and my evenings were spent cleaning. Exhaustion was beginning to take its toll.
I loved the modern, artistic feel of the office. The main room of the company was occupied by a spattering of cubicles in the center, private offices flanking the sides, and a long hallway with doors that branched off to the bathrooms, the break room, supply room, and a very large board room, made visible by the wall of windows from the hallway.
Turning the corner, I was startled when I saw the board room full of people in suits sitting around a large oval table. I immediately turned the vacuum off, not wanting to disturb them. A few curious eyes glanced over at me before darting away. Their posture around the table didn’t give off the vibe that they would be wrapping up soon, so I gathered up the cord and began winding it around the back of the vacuum. The rest of the hallway looked fine. I would officially be calling it a night.
Looking up again through the glass, my gaze caught on a man who looked very interested at the sight of me. I froze in place, a deer in the headlights. This was twice now that our meeting had caught me unaware. He sat at the end of the table, slouched a bit in his seat, wearing a delicious fitted navy suit. He shook his head slowly at me, biting his lip in what looked like an attempt to rein in his smile. My reaction matched his before I could think better of it. He was mouthing something to me, gesturing lightly with his hands. My eyes shot downward because I wasn’t curious at all, and I had work to do, and I didn’t need him interfering with that.
It took me three tries to finish winding the cord around the vacuum and load it back onto my cart, my trembling fingers and erratic heartbeat making the job nearly impossible. Finally, I stood up, and because it was literally like attempting to not look at a celebrity when you were told they were in the same room, I caught his eyes again before I could disappear down the hallway.
“Wait,” he mouthed. Very clearly.
“What?” I mouthed back, cupping my ear.
His eyes flashed with a knowing look as he motioned his hands in a stop pose. “Wait,” he mouthed again.
I hesitated. Ohhh, it was tempting. So tempting. Maybe if we had met again on the elevator, we’d have our chance at small talk. I’d tell him how nice it was to see him again. He’d say something like, ‘Wow, you’re cleaning toilets now?’And I’d say, ‘Yeah, isn’t life crazy?’We’d both remember fondly our night all those years ago and breathe a sigh of relief that things turned out like they did. Then we’d high five each other a goodbye. Or was it a fist bump? Either way, over and out. Clean and simple.
I’d wait for an elevator to chat.
