“Thanks,” I said, shoving my hands in my pockets where they belonged.
The girls immediately began talking a mile a minute about pregnancy cravings, Cade’s pranks, and old inside jokes.
“Should I just pick my wife up from your house in a few days when it’s time to go home?” Cade asked Tessa.
Tessa grinned at him. “Look, Kels, your husband is learning so fast.”
I studied Cade for a moment. I wasn’t sure if it was vet school or being married to my sister, but something about him felt different to me. He still dressed like he always did. His baseball hat still covered up his frumpy brown hair, but he looked different somehow. Older? More mature? I couldn’t put my finger on it.
Soon, we were surrounded by familiar faces—some I hadn’t seen for years. Old friends from school and softball summers sat in lawn chairs scattered around the large flames. The sun had lowered in the sky, casting long shadows across the farm.
Jake, the instigator of it all, sat in the middle of the group, laughing, joking, and throwing mild shade at everyone. I didn’t understand how he could get this ragtag group of friends and acquaintances of all ages together, but I could see how people would come to just be near Jake.
A black truck rumbled to a stop behind us, and we all turned and watched as Dusty stepped out. His black cowboy hat, jeans, and timid smile was a welcome sight for sore eyes. But none were sorer than Jake’s. With a whoop, he ran over to his best friend and jumped into his waiting arms.
“Who’s the girl?” Tessa whispered to me. The entire group of friends was all captivated, no longer by Dusty and Jake, but by a pretty, black-haired pixie with glasses that got out of the passenger side of the truck and made her way over to the boys. Dusty was laughing at something Jake had said while he reached over and casually draped his arm over the girl’s shoulders.
“You don’t know?
“What?”
“Dusty’s got a girlfriend.”
“What?” she gasped, assessing the brunette settling into Dusty’s side. “How come I didn’t know this?”
“You’re not as popular as me, I guess.”
“Hasn’t he only been gone a year?” she asked.
“Just over a year.” I was mildly impressed. “Pretty fast work for Dusty.”
She raised her eyebrows at me. “If he moved by your standards, he’d already be working his way through girl number five by now.”
I gave her a light nudge. “You’re telling me. I’ve been stuck on one girl for a whole month now. It can’t be good for me.”
The smile that escaped her lips shot a heat wave through my entire body. That’s right, Marten. Flirtmorewith the girl you’re trying to not think about.
“Is this your girlfriend, Dust?” came a cheeky question from someone behind me.
Dusty’s face widened into an easy smile. “She is, so don’t get any ideas.” To the group, he said, “Everyone, this is Lucy.”
Lucy blushed slightly at the attention but smiled sweetly to everyone, leaning into Dusty’s side.
The rest of our time at the bonfire was spent with me trying to resist a close proximity to Tessa, to then being unable to help myself, to quickly whispering in her ear a joke that I knew she’d laugh at. I had given myself a strict no-touching rule for the rest of the night but couldn’t help the accidental leaning into her shoulder, or brushing up against her arm, or nudging her leg. There was a disconnect somewhere between my body and my brain. So, I would move to a different spot and force myself to talk to other people before the pattern would start all over again.
The evening wore on. It wouldn’t be long now before the four-wheelers would start up and the field games would begin. After the hot dogs and s’mores, we all stood, casually mingling in small groups, talking and catching up. Kelsey had complained quietly about her back pinching in one spot as she shifted uncomfortably. Cade stood on the other side of her, talking to Chase, and without skipping a beat in his conversation, his hand dropped to her back and began rubbing at just the right spot, as if he’d done it a hundred times before.
I knew right then what it was that felt different about him. I had finally put my finger on it. Cade had always had this easy, fun-loving way about him. He had that still, but gone was his restlessness. His impatience. He was settled. At peace. He had the girl he’d loved since childhood in his arms.
The big brother in me was glad to see my sister so happy, but something unsettling clanged around inside of me as I watched them. Since my relationship with Valerie had imploded all those years ago, I had shut out people. Women. A protective layer of bubble wrap had grown around my heart. I had some good friends, but beyond watching a game on TV and golfing on the weekends, talking about jobs and the weather, things never ran too deep. Watching Cade with my sister, I realized it was his connection to her that had me entranced. It wasn’t the touching. It was the feeling of knowing justwhereto touch. It was the vulnerability of showing another person where something hurt.
There had been a moment after Tessa had told me about Tyler where I wanted to give her something. The feeling had startled me, but I had been so far out of practice with real connection I couldn’t have begun to scrounge up what she was asking for. Things were buried too deep. It went against all of our rules. And for the first time since Jake put this whole bet thing into play, I resented it.
As the twilight dissolved into darkness, we put out the fire and meandered toward the barn where the four-wheelers were waiting. I made my way to Tessa’s side as we pulled away from the group.
“Have you been practicing for this, Marten?” Tessa asked, leaving her stupid, lonely hand dangling at her side. “I better tell you now. I will leave you in the dust if you hold me back.”
“Are you asking if I’ve been running on purpose? It’s like you don’t even know me at all.”
