“That was for what you said to Addie,” she says, her nostrils flaring and before I know it, she’s flicking my forehead again.
“What wasthatfor?” I groan out in pain, rubbing the sore spot.
“That’s for being an idiot,” she says and I furrow my eyebrows in confusion. “Why didn’t you just use that money you’re always boasting about to solve this problem?”
“She has copies, what am I gonna do? Break into her house and steal them? You thoroughly overestimate my capabilities.” I cross my arms against my stomach and lean into my sofa with a huff.
“So what? You’re just gonna stop being with Addie?”
“What else am I supposed to do? If Stacey releases the tapes, her life will be ruined—she can kiss goodbye to Oxford or to becoming a doctor.”
“And you?”
“Who cares about me?”
Her eyes soften. “She does. You know she does. You can’t just give up.” She narrows her eyes at me gently. “You’re just scared of your mother, aren’t you?”
“What are you talking about?”
“You know you could talk to your mother and make this whole thing disappear, but you’re scared,” she says. “You’re scared of telling your mother who you are.”
I lower my eyes in shame and embarrassment. Deep down, I know that she’s right. In the heat of the moment with Stacey I wasn’t thinking straight, but afterwards, I could have called my mother. She could have dealt with it swiftly, but deep down, I’m too scared to come out to her.
I told Stacey I didn’t care about coming out, which I meant, but I didn’t mean it completely. I’m here wallowing, but the truth is I could solve this and I so desperately want to. I’m just terrified of everything.
I breathe out shakily. “Of course, I’m scared. You wouldn’t get it.”
She sighs. “Maybe not like you, but I get it.” She looks at me. “You think I want to be in twenty different sports clubs? I don’t even like playing basketball, Juliette.” She lets out a humourless laugh.
I furrow my eyebrows. “Then why are you?”
“Because it’s what’s expected of me,” she says and I’m stunned by how much she sounds like me. “But clearly, doing what’s expected of you doesn’t work out foreveryone.” I almost laugh at her snarky tone.
“So what am I supposed to do?”
Victoria shakes her head. “Figure it out, you can’t always expect to get the answers from someone else.”
Maybe it’s her unwavering gaze or the way she’s being callous that gives me the courage I need because that callousness is what I need. I don’t need to be coddled—I never have. She's right, I have to figure it out myself.
Regret seeps through my bones. The thought of living my life without Adaline makes me sick to my stomach, I won’t have it. So, when Victoria leaves I don’t waste any time, I get into my car and speed away to Addie's house.
***
The car ride there is swift, but I have to contain the tears that are bubbling within me, most of the way. My car is barely fully parked on the street before I get out and run as fast as I can to her door. My fists automatically start knocking on it as hard as I can as soon as I reach it—as if someone’s dying. The door swings open erratically and Adam's stoic gaze is as unwelcoming as ever, but it’s different too.
“She doesn’t want to see you. Get out.”
So, she’s told him, that’s gonna make this difficult.
“Please! I can explain—”
“Explain what? That you broke my sister's fucking heart? Count yourself lucky you’re a woman, because if you weren’t, you’d be six feet under right now.” He grits out the threat.
He looks so much like her, especially when he’s angry, his green eyes ferocious, his frown stoic, but unmoving.
“Please just let me talk to her,” I plead. “Addie!” I scream, trying to look inside the house, but he blocks my way.
“Get off my property,” he barks out. “She doesn’t want to see you.”
