“Are you trying to console me?” She laughs venomously. “Console yourself, you’re the one that’s being used.”
“Used?” I echo back her words, unable to stop the way my heart drops.
“Everyone experiments in college, that’s all you are to me, that’s all you ever were,” she states harshly.
I’m not letting her do this—letting her fear of being outed control what’s going to happen next.
“Juliette,” I say, sternly this time, “I know you’re scared to come out—”
She cuts me off again. “Scared? I’m fine with being gay Adaline, I’m just not fine with being associated with someone likeyou.”
An ache unlike any other gnaws at my chest. “I don’t believe you.”
She’s terrified. Stacey has ambushed her and now she’s scared to come out, so she’s trying to push me away. How could she have used me? All the tender words she said, her soft whispers and hands, it couldn’t have been a lie.Someone like me. She clenches her jaw and I try to reach out and touch her but another hand swats me away.
“Keep your hands off her!” Stacey warns me. “We don’t know where your hands have been.” She walks closer to Juliette and slides her own hand up Juliette’s shoulder.
I almost stumble backwards, especially when Juliette doesn’t push her away. My confusion morphs into fury.
No one touches what’s mine, no one. I reach forward and push Stacey. I desperately try to claw at her hair or get my hands around her throat, anything to distract me from the tears I feel building up inside me, but before I can do any real damage, Juliette steps in between us both, trying to stop us from fighting.
“Don’t touch her,” she says stiffly and I exhale in relief, until I look properly and realise she’s talking to me. To me?
For her?
“What?”
“You heard her,” Stacy smirks. “What? Did you think you were the only one for Juliette? How sweet. Did you really think she’d go foryouwhen I’m right here?” Her hands clasp Juliette’s and I can taste the bile rising up my throat.
“Juliette, why?” My eyes burn when I see their hands interlocked.
Is that what this is? This whole time she’s been with Stacey? I knew Stacey liked her, but she broke her hand, how could this possibly have happened? It doesn’t make any sense at all, but I can’t think logically when her hand is interlocked with Juliette’s. In fact, I can’t really think about anything.
“Because you’re easy, Adaline. Look at you, you’re so eager to please. You take anything I give you. You’reworthless.”
“But…I love you.” My voice cracks and I feel like I’m gonna pass out. I sound so weak, so utterly weak, but I can’t help it.
Her jaw clenches and she closes her eyes momentarily before opening them up again. “You love me?” She smiles wickedly. “That’s sad.God, I was good, wasn’t I? I even almost convinced myself until I realized something. I couldn’t love you. Someone like you? You’re unlovable. You’re nothing to me.”
You’re nothing to me, you’re not my daughter! You’re a monster, Adaline. You killed my wife! No one could ever love you!
My eyes burn at the resurfaced memories and I gasp under my breath at her words. The stoic expression sends a wave of betrayal through every inch of my body. I can’t breathe.
“Did you not hear me?!” I bellow out. “I. Love. You.” My voice cracks.
She clenches her jaw in what I can only assume to be annoyance. “I don’t care.”
Is this what she felt like? When I didn’t say the words back to her? When I completely disregarded the words? No, she didn’t, it was all an act, because if she meant what she said, why is her hand still interlocked with Stacey’s? I don’t bother asking, I just turn on my feet and run out of her house and I don’t stop until I reach Kai’s car, which is still parked outside. I knock on the window hurriedly and he rolls it down. He's on the phone.
“Adaline? Where’s Juliette?” he asks, concerned as he hangs up the phone.
“Can you let me in?” I ask in a subdued tone. He doesn’t waste any time to open the door for me and I slip into the passenger seat. “She’s not coming,” I mumble.
“You’re shaking,” he says fastening my seatbelt for me. “What happened?”
“Nothing.”
What am I supposed to say? How can I possibly explain that for the first time in my life I’ve felt…heartbreak? I’ve tasted the betrayal that I thought was only possible in fiction, something I never thought I was capable of feeling.
