“It’s not—” I try to collect myself enough to say. “It’s not that.”
He stands there, waiting for further clarification, but neither of us can explain the manic outburst.
“We have less than four hours total to give you a marginal chance of survival. If you don’t care enough about your own lives to pay attention, consider the lives of your fellow soldiers.”
His prior warning resurfaces.“Soldiers can’t afford to feel. We are one distraction away from death.”
I won’t be the distraction that costs Gem her life. The reminder is enough to sober me as I wipe the tears from my face. “Okay.”
“Let’s start with the first technique.” Kalden tilts his head toward Gem. “Punch her face.”
“What?” My brows pinch together as I give him a look that questions his sanity.
“I’m not asking you to hurt her,” he says, drawing out the words as if to aid my comprehension. “Throw your fist slowly, so she can practice dodging.”
“Oh,” I say, cheeks burning. “Right.”
Once Gem and I adjust our stances, I lazily swing my arm, knuckles aiming towards her nose. Gem squats straight down, away from my attack, but Kalden shakes his head.
“Bending down without sliding back or to the side keeps you vulnerable for the next attack. Remember, it’s all about adding distance between you and your opponent. Like this.” Kalden does a two-step shuffle backward while bending at the waist and lifting his arms to block his face. He repeats the move, explaining, “Keep one leg behind the other and your arms in tight. Again.”
After our seventh run-through, he relents, “Better. Now switch places.”
Sweat beads down my neck as I mimic the technique. The quick bending motion sloshes my brain, and by my fourth try, I swear themat beneath my feet begins to ripple like a wave.
“Woah.” Gem rushes to grab my wrist, stabilizing me. It takes a few measured breaths before I can focus on her downturned face. “Do we need to take it slower?”
“Your opponents will not make accommodations,” Kalden says matter-of-factly.
Gem shifts defensively in front of me, but I step around her to admit, “I know.”
The admission weighs on my hunched shoulders. I’m well aware that no Sol will take it easier on me simply because I require it. We’re already practicing at a pace that’s far more leisurely than what we’re likely to encounter. And if I can’t hack this, I’ll be done for within seconds of a true attack.
I don’t want to die, but perhaps it’s time I come to terms with the inevitability of it. Hands shaking, I massage my scalp as the tension in my throat threatens to suffocate me.
Kalden assesses my trembling fingers, then my face. I imagine what he sees there: taut lines along my forehead and deep under-eye hollows beneath hooded lids.
I’ve had many years to shape a façade. A polite smile will trick the eyes of many into ignoring the subtler signs of my weakness. Only those who care to do an attentive examination will catch the evidence of my pain. Lucky for me, few care.
Kalden, however, takes his time. A single black brow raises as he studies me thoroughly.
“If a simple practice round has this much of an impact on your stamina, relying on the standard evasion techniques against your enemies will lead to your death,” he says, confirming what I already suspected.
“No,” Gem says, reaching out to grab my hand in hers. “I won’tlet that happen.”
Her rare initiation of physical contact is a gesture of solidarity meant to bring reassurance. Instead, it tightens the knot in my throat.
“I won’t let you go down with me.” I squeeze her hand back. “If anything, I can provide a distraction while you hide. It’s worked for others before.”
She shakes her head, refusing to accept what I’m proposing. “There’s got to be another way.”
“Your opponents won’t make accommodations—” Kalden starts, but Gem cuts in, jade eyes sharpening like daggers.
“You already said that.”
Kalden ignores the interruption. “But you can make your own. The usual techniques will fail you, but there are . . . other methods that may prove useful in prolonging your time above ground.”
He briefly meets Gem’s scalding gaze and nudges his head towards the others. “Keep practicing your dodges. Those of you taking the offensive position, stop holding back. Strike as quickly as you can. No more waiting for your partner to catch their breath or slowing your punches. Your opponent won’t stop, so neither should you.”
