“Because you felt sorry for me.” She bit her lip. “And we had a physical attraction…but that is not the same as love.”
Knowing her past allowed him to quell his impatience. Now he understood why it was difficult for her to accept his love—to see her own merits the way he and others did. Wilmington had distorted her view of herself from an impressionable age, deliberately whittling away her confidence and sense of worth so that he could better manipulate her.
I hope the bastard is rotting in his grave.
“I fell in love with you the moment I saw you holding Lord Thaddeus at knife-point,” James said bluntly.
“You didn’t let on.” She blinked. “Not for an entire year.”
“It took me a while to realize the nature of my feelings. And, if you’ll recall, you expressed no interest in a love match.” He gave an irritable shrug. “Things were fine between us, and I saw no reason to upset the balance. Emotions are felt, even when not articulated. You weren’t declaring your undying devotion to me…but your actions conveyed your affection. You gave me your unwavering support during the trying time with Ethan and Owen and saw to all my comforts. When I was reasonably certain you felt more than affection for me, I made my own feelings known.”
“You waited a year.” A tear beaded at the corner of her eye. “When you could have told me from the start. I fell in love with you, James, the moment you came to my rescue. You defended me when I had only known predators. Showed me respect and care when others had treated me as if I were less than nothing. I knew it was selfish to want you, to love you…but how could I help myself? When I lost the babe, I was overwhelmed with guilt. I believed this was my punishment for killing Wilmington…and for loving you. By marrying you, I cursed you. I think that was why I pulled away. I was afraid…afraid my love would hurt you.”
By Jove. This woman—she destroyed him. Even when she made no sense, even when her logic was knotty and convoluted, she managed to turn him inside-out. The knowledge that she loved him—had always loved him—reduced his defenses to ashes. With a growl of frustration, he yanked her into his arms, and she clung to him, burying her head in his shoulder where it belonged.
And finally, finally, he began to calm.
“You are not a curse,” he said. “You are a gift.”
“In the manner of the Trojan horse.” Her voice was muffled against his waistcoat. “All I’ve brought you is trouble.”
“A bit of trouble probably does me good. You keep me on my toes.”
“Why do you have a response for everything?”
“I don’t, always. But I have one now: I have loved you from the day we met, Evie, and I have never stopped.”
She lifted her head, stared at him through tear-spiked lashes.
“Even now? Even knowing what I did?”
“Ad finem fidelis.” He tucked a tress behind her ear. “But you do know that you are not to blame for what happened, don’t you? Wilmington manipulated and abused you. Whatever you did was done out of desperation—the desperation of an adolescent girl who’d been preyed upon for years by the man who was supposed to protect her.”
“I don’t know how I deserve you,” she said in an aching whisper.
“Then I shall tell you. By being yourself: brave, intelligent, and strong—and I didn’t know the half of it. Not even half, by God.” He held her gaze, wanting her to see his heart and wanting to see hers. “I admire you beyond words, Evelyn Ashewood Harrington, and I love you beyond comprehension. But I must have your word—your oath of honor—that you will be honest with me from this moment forth. No more deception, no more hiding. There must be only truth between us. Will you give me that?”
“I want to give you everything,” she said fervently. “I love you more than life itself, but can you…can you truly forgive me?”
“It is done.” He meant it. “Water under the bridge.”
“What about the blackmailer?—”
“I will deal with him.”
“But how?—”
“Do you trust me?”
Slowly, she nodded.
“Then allow me to take care of this for you.”
She hesitated. “You must let me help. I brought this peril upon us, and I won’t have you facing it alone. Please don’t make the same mistake I did.”
“Mistake is too mild a word for your recklessness.” Reminded of it, he added sternly, “You will not put yourself at risk again. For any reason and under any circumstance. Do I make myself clear?”
“I won’t if you won’t. Let us work together and keep each other safe. Let us be the partners we are meant to be.”
