The idea was so preposterous that she gawked at him.
“I would never?—”
“Then tell me where you were, Evie. What you were doing.”
“I told you. I was in the garden…studying the wallflowers.”
His eyes flared, his jaw clenching. He looked angry enough to shout—to shake her, if his hands weren’t balled. Her past had taught her the warning signs of violence, and if it were any man other than James, her instinct would have been to run. Yet she knew with every fiber of her being that her husband would never do her physical harm.
Even when she was hurting him. Guilt wrung her heart, and for an instant, she considered confessing everything: the depraved act she’d committed in the past, the blackmailer she was paying off, and the threat she posed to everything he held dear.
Burning fear kept her silent.
“Fine.” His voice was icy. “If you do not wish to discuss your activities, then you will listen to what I have to say about mine.”
Recalling his earlier reference to infidelity, a terrible thought struck her. Had he suspected her of having an affair because…because he was having one? She wasn’t naïve; sophisticated couples often sought pleasure outside of the marital bed. And the fact was that her own had seen little activity of late. Yet the very idea of James being with another set off a blaze of possessiveness.
“What about your activities?” she said tightly.
He straightened his shoulders while her heart hammered against her ribs.
“Gosford is retiring, and I plan to run for his seat,” he said.
It took her a moment to register what he said. And another for the pounding in her ears and chest to subside.
“Oh.” She drew a breath, trying to think. “Will you win?”
James’s mouth twisted. “That is a vote of confidence, isn’t it?”
“That is not what I meant?—”
“Friend and Dunsmuir believe that I am the party’s best chance of beating Ryerson. I have their backing and the support of others. It is my duty to serve the greater good, and now that this opportunity has arisen, I must step forward.”
“Of course,” she mumbled.
She felt so small, shrinking in the blaze of confidence in James’s gaze. Who was she to stand in the way of his ambition—his destiny to help others? And yet…
“We need to discuss this because it will affect you as well.”
James came to stand in front of her. His familiar scent of musk and sandalwood tantalized her senses. She was caught between opposing desires: to flee and to fling herself into his arms. She stayed rooted in place, trembling with yearning.
“I know how important your studies are to you and do not expect you to abandon them for the sake of my endeavors. However, I will require your presence on occasion.” He glanced at the cast-iron plant, touching his finger to a glossy tip. “According to Dunsmuir and Friend, presenting a united domestic front is essential to my campaign’s success. The General Election is only three months away, and during that time, I would appreciate your support.”
His request and the careful way he made it pierced her like an arrow. He had no idea what she would do for him—the lengths she would go to protect him. Her dilemma wound around her like a thorny vine: if she stayed, she would be his Achilles’ heel. Yet if she left, James would be faced with a different kind of scandal…unless she could think of a way to disappear that wouldn’t harm his reputation.
“What happens in private is one thing.” He dropped his hand from the plant. “In public, I shall be relying upon you to play the role of a contented wife. This contest will be a close one, and I will need your help to win, Evie. I have not asked for much, but I would have your word now that you will give me your best effort.”
If what he said earlier was an arrow, then his present request was like a blade, slicing clean through her.
“You haven’t asked anything of me, James.” The truth bled from her. “You’ve given me everything but never asked for a thing in return.”
He stared at her. In the silence, her heartbeat seemed loud and frantic.
“What has happened to us?” he asked, his voice hoarse and low. “Our marriage has been blown off-course, and for the life of me, I don’t know the cause of it. But I will fix it, if you tell me what needs to be done.”
His offer, noble and intense and so very James, drew a wretched tear from her. When he thumbed it away, she trembled at the beauty of being touched by him, at the impossibility of her position. There was no winning, only different ways to lose. Telling him the truth would destroy his future for she knew the kind of man her husband was: a captain who would go down with a sinking ship. Yet she couldn’t bring herself to continue pushing him away. The agony of doing so was becoming unbearable, and she was hurting him too.
So she took the only avenue left. A path that drew them away from secrets and shadows and toward a truth beyond words. She threw her arms around his neck, pulled him close, and kissed him.
