“What if that is the illusion?”
“What do you mean you have no idea where Evie is?” James demanded.
After Lady Vernon’s departure, he had gone in search of his wife. When he couldn’t find her, he’d asked the others if they had seen her. Now his family was gathered in the drawing room…and their concern threw tinder on his own.
“She is not here.” Xenia wrung her hands. “The servants have looked everywhere—we’ve all been looking—and she’s gone.”
Beneath James’s frustration, panic began to drum.
“She would not have left without telling anyone,” he said curtly. “Are you certain all the servants have been questioned?”
Ethan moved to stand in front of his wife.
“You are upset, brother, and understandably so,” he said evenly. “But do not take your temper out on Xenia.”
James exhaled. Ethan was right. This wasn’t Xenia’s fault—it was his.
“I pray you’ll forgive my rudeness, Xenia,” he said heavily.
“There’s nothing to forgive.” His sister-in-law’s eyes shone with an empathy he didn’t deserve. “You are only worried about Evie. Do you think it is possible that she went for a walk? To clear her head after…um, today’s unfortunate events?”
Xenia’s tactful reference made James feel like the lowliest scoundrel. While the scandal had rocked him, he wasn’t proud of how he had handled the situation, specifically with regards to Evie. He had lashed out at her because he’d been angry and upset. Because he hadn’t been prepared for how devastating failure would feel. He knew the guilt Evie carried, yet he’d twisted the responsibility she felt into something far uglier. Thinking of how he’d accused her of being self-absorbed and unsupportive, he wanted to punch himself…the way Evie ought to have.
Instead, she’d looked at him like a whipped puppy. His throat grew scratchy as he recognized that her response to his vitriol hadn’t been one of anger but acceptance. She felt she deserved his scorn—when, actually, she had the right of things. He had lied to her. And to himself as well. She had concealed her past because she was afraid of losing his love and ruining his future. When she’d finally trusted him with the truth, he had assured her that it didn’t matter. He had promised to find a solution. Yet when he failed to do so, he had blamed her for the collapse of his campaign…because his pride and ambition had blinded him to what mattered most.
Ad finem fidelis.
Evie had given him her love and loyalty, and she deserved his in return. Sudden fear spiked as he considered how far she might go to protect him. Would she leave him?
She is welcome to try.
She was his wife, and she belonged by his side. If he had to hunt her down and grovel to get her back, then so be it. Looking at his assembled kin, he knew that he needed their help.
“Evie may have left. I certainly gave her reason to,” he said with self-loathing. “I would like to organize a search for her.”
“We shall find her.” Papa clasped his shoulder. “Do not judge yourself too harshly, son. It has been an eventful day. Once you and Evie are reunited, you will sort things out.”
James nodded, though he felt far from reassured. Looking out the windows, he saw darkness had fallen. At this very moment, Evie was God knows where, alone and unprotected.
“We will split up,” he said urgently. “We must search Chuddums, the neighboring villages, and the nearest railway stations. Anywhere you can think of that Evie might have gone.”
A few hours later, James’s worry turned into full-fledged panic.
They had looked everywhere for Evie. In Chuddums, they’d knocked on the doors of everyone they knew and some they didn’t. None of the villagers had seen Evie, but several—including the Pickleworths, Mr. Duffield and his companion the blacksmith, and Wally and his group of cronies—volunteered to join the search.
They widened the circle to Chudleigh Crest. Evie had not been seen at the coaching inn or anywhere else. James’s siblings and their spouses had continued to other villages. Mama and Papa were on their way to Reading in what was rapidly becoming a wild goose chase. James had wanted to take charge of one of the searches, but everyone insisted he should be at Bottoms House in case Evie returned on her own.
What if Evie doesn’t come back? What if she has truly left me? What if my despicable behavior drove her away for good?
He was riding back toward the manor, so drenched in despair that he didn’t feel the rain as it began to fall. His horse did, shaking its head in displeasure. When thunder boomed, it reared and whinnied; James gripped the reins, fighting to stay seated. Panting, his face slick, he managed to calm the animal…but not the beast howling within him.
Right now, Evie could be cold and wet because I was a bastard to her. She could be lost and alone in the dark, with no place to go?—
The flash of clarity was brighter than the lightning that cracked the sky.
The place took her in when she had nowhere else to go. She felt safe there, as if nothing could touch her.
“Devil and damn,” he said, stunned. “Could Evie have gone there?”
