“You’re mine now, Xenia. Upon my honor, I will take care of you. Do you believe me?”
“I do.” Her heart swelled, but she’d promised not to lie to him. “But we both know this affair cannot last?—”
“Why?”
She wetted her lips. “Why…what?”
“Why do you insist on a condition that need not be true?” His gaze pierced her. “What are you afraid of, Xenia? Whatever you are running from, I can help you?—”
“You can’t.”
Fear oozed through her, the memory of her papa’s weary and determined face.
“Don’t be afraid, poppet. I won’t let her hurt us any longer. We’re going to leave this life behind us—start afresh.”
He’d been confident up until the moment Mama and her lackeys had charged into the cottage where they’d been hiding.
“You’ll be all right, poppet. Put your hands over your ears.”
Those had been his last words to her before Mama’s brutes dragged him outside.
She’d done as he asked, but she heard it anyway—his cries of pain, that single ringing shot that pierced her own heart. When she’d tried to run to him, Mama had blocked her way.
“Those who betray me don’t survive, so let that be a lesson, daughter mine.”
That was a lesson Xenia refused to learn. She’d run and run from her mother’s cruelty, willing to accept the consequences. Finally, she thought she was free, but danger shadowed her to Mr. Trelawney’s cozy bookshop. It knocked over his shelves, smashed his money box, and sliced his throat wide open.
Safety was an illusion.
Even here. Even now.
Even with the man she was falling in love with.
The realization of her feelings did nothing to alleviate her fear. In fact, it made it worse. This affair with Ethan was pure selfishness on her part. Even if he could accept her past, her presence in his life put him at risk.
“If you run again, daughter mine, I will find you.”Mama’s vow had terrified her more than the beatings, more than being chained like an animal. “I will always find you—and you won’t like it when I do.”
“Xenia.”
At Ethan’s gentle shake, she snapped out of the past.
“Tell me what is troubling you,” he said intently.
“I can’t,” she whispered.
“Does it involve debts? I can help you?—”
“I will not take your money.” As uncertain as she was about everything else, she was sure of this. “I am not your whore.”
He stiffened. “I never implied that you were.”
Seeing the tight line of his mouth, she regretted her harsh words. He was only trying to help, but he couldn’t—no one could. When the past caught up to her, as it always did, she had only one choice, and she promised herself she would make it.
No matter how hard I fall for Ethan, I will leave to protect him.
“Forgive me,” she said miserably. “You asked for honesty from me, and this is the truth: I cannot promise you anything but the moment. I know that’s not worth much?—”
“Christ, Xenia. You’ve no idea of your own worth, do you?” He pulled her into his arms.
