Aroused and captivated, he spoke without thinking. “I can’t have what I want.”
“Why in blazes not?”
“Because I don’t deserve it.”
She was on him in an instant, her hands curling around the lapels of his jacket.
“Why not, Sebastian? Why would you say such a thing?”
Because I am not who you think I am. I have been deceiving you…
I am not the Marquess of Fayne, and I never was.
Despair and longing howled inside him. He could give it no outlet—save one.
Shoving his hands into Lottie’s hair, he crushed his mouth to hers.
Twenty-Three
If desperation had a flavor, it was the one burning on Charlie’s tongue. Smoky and wild and complex—everything that was Sebastian. She didn’t know what he was hiding, but she knew that he needed her. She felt it in the grip of his hands against her scalp, the bulging tension of his biceps trapping her arms, the proprietary plunge of his tongue. His desire for her transcended the physical, his emotions electrifying the air.
He loves me. Present tense. But he thinks he doesn’t deserve my love in return.
Confusion and tenderness wrung her heart. There were so many questions she needed to ask—but later. Now he was communicating with a different kind of honesty, and she understood that this was about more than pleasure. The greedy claim of his mouth, the eager stiffness of his cock was about more than lust.
It was about Sebastian taking what he felt he did not deserve. About his need for her being so raw and ungoverned that he couldn’t relinquish it even when he thought he should. It was about him losing control because he’d loved her then, loved her now, and wasn’t sure what to do about it.
Heaven help me, I might feel the same way.
She wasn’t ready for words either. Instead, she grabbed his bristly jaw and kissed him back with all the chaotic, undeniable longing she felt. He groaned, his tongue delving deeper, and she welcomed him, letting him stake his territory while she did the same. She loved the taste of him: whisky and Sebastian, all male, all delicious.
The kiss blurred everything around her. There was only her mate and their vibrant connection. So lost was she that she didn’t notice that he’d lifted and carried her until her bottom hit the hard surface of her desk.
His mouth left hers, but only so that it could attach to her ear. She shivered as he traced the delicate rim with his tongue, flicking the plump lobe.
“You have no idea how much I want you.”
His hoarse words made her nipples throb beneath her bodice.
“I havesomeidea.” She reached out, stroking the thick length of his erection. “Unless you happen to have a truncheon tucked in your trousers, I believe you are quite happy to see me.”
“Christ, Lottie.” He looked at her, and shelovedthe dancing bronze sparks in his eyes. “Only you could make me want to laugh and tup you at the same time.”
Which made her want to tease him even more. “Is tupping me on my desk one of those fantasies you had during our separation?”
“No.” He cupped her nape, looking deeply into her eyes, as if he wanted to see down to her soul. “The idea came to me after I witnessed you dallying with Devlin.”
“I was not dallying with him.”
She sounded breathless because Sebastian’s fingers were nimbly unfastening the back of her dress. A spymaster’s hands, he had. Able to give him access to whatever he wanted.
“You know you are the only woman for me.” Satisfaction deepened his voice as he pushed her frock off her shoulders. “It seems, however, that I must prove I am the only man for you.”
“You don’t have to prove anything?—”
She gasped when he lifted her off the desk, spinning her around and bending her over the surface. His actions were dominant…and arousing. Her cheek burned against the leather blotter as he pressed his palm to her nape, murmuring, “Stay.”
As if she were a pet.
