“How much does she know?” Primus said without preamble.
It spoke volumes that the spymaster asked about Lottie before Jack’s progress on the mission. Primus saw her as a threat, setting off a chill in Jack’s gut. The last thing he wanted was a clash between his mentor and his beloved...especially when he’d decided to try to bridge both parts of his life. To take a shot at becoming whole.
Given Primus’s acuity, there was no point in dissembling.
“Pretty much everything,” Jack admitted.
When he finished outlining the extent of Lottie’s knowledge, Primus exhaled. “By Jove. She discovered that you were a spy, that you were chasing anarchists, and that Anthony Quinton was involved?”
“Yes.” Jack felt a strange sort of pride, for his Lottie was one of a kind. “She also led me to Quinton’s hideaway.”
“She is a rare creature.” Primus’s tone implied this was not a compliment. “What did you tell her about our group?”
“As little as possible. I did not reveal your identity.” He cleared his throat. “But she met the others when they found us.”
Laurent and Calderone had been waiting for them on the shore. Jack’s subordinates had appeared quite charmed by Lottie and, he noted wryly, vice versa.
“I take it the meeting with Delaney did not go smoothly.”
Primus’s expression was ironic. No one understood the situation better than he. Twelve years ago, Jack had gone to his mentor in a panic after finding the murdered informant and his family and the note threatening Lottie.
“Cut ties. Permanently,”Primus had instructed.“That is the only way she will be safe.”
At the time, Jack hadn’t doubted his mentor’s wisdom. But now…now he couldn’t help but wonder if deception had been the only path. Or the right one.
“Let’s just say that Charlotte hasn’t forgiven me for faking my death,” he said somberly. “Or the way I did it.”
“You explained, I assume, the motivation behind your actions.”
“It doesn’t matter.” Jack raked a hand through his hair. “The fact is that I abandoned her in the worst way possible and made her grieve.”
For years,Lottie had said. His heart hammered with remorse…and hope. If her feelings had been that intense, that enduring, then perhaps he could find a way to fix things.
“There is no going back.”
His attention snapped back to Primus, whose visage looked carved from ice.
“I’ve told you this on three occasions now,” his mentor reminded him. “The first was when you insisted on marrying Charlotte Danvers against my advice. The second when you left to protect her. The third when you recklessly compromised your cover and let her know you were alive.”
“I know,” Jack said tightly.
Because he did know. Primus had warned him from the start that marrying Lottie was a bad idea—that the life of a spy did not allow for personal ties, and relationships were a liability. He’d followed his heart anyway, and even now, with all the mistakes he’d made, he could not bring himself to regret his choice. Truth be told, he deserved Primus’s censure and any consequences the other saw fit to mete out.
Primus assessed him with a hawkish gaze before sighing.
“I understand, you know. I was young once. In love once.”
Jack’s surprise must have shown, for Primus’s thin lips formed a rare smile.
“Did you think I was incapable of folly?” he inquired.
“No, sir. That is,” Jack said hastily, “you have always seemed rather…er, logical. In your choices and decisions.”
“I think bylogicalyou meancalculated.”
“I didn’t mean?—”
“One must never apologize for the truth.” Primus turned to the window, widening the part in the curtain. The sliver of light highlighted the silver in his thick, grey hair, the harsh lines etched into his skin. “And the truth is I learned to be shrewd because of the mistakes I made. Because my decisions, based on foolish impulses, nearly led to disaster.”
