“You were always running,” the healer murmured. “Now may you finally be at rest.”
Grief swelled, and Ben fought it off by searching for clues to Pete’s death. He didn’t have far to look: clutched in the lad’s still-warm fingers was the familiar red box with the entwined “D” and “B.” Opening the box, Ben saw it was empty, and a sudden fury rose in him.
“How did Pete get his hands on this poison?” he bit out.
“Probably the way he attained most things,” Chen replied.
The healer was going through Pete’s coat with methodical precision. He removed a golden disc from Pete’s inner pocket. A fob watch—an expensive one, Ben reckoned, by the exquisite filigree work on the cover.
Chen opened it. “There is an inscription:To my husband and our everlasting love. P.”
“Do you think Pete filched the drug and the watch from the same cove?” Ben asked grimly.
“It is possible.” Chen’s features were stark. “The watch is a lead, and we must try to find its owner.”
With swirling misgivings, Ben mounted the steps to the Strathaven residence a week later.
What does Strathaven want? Did he find out about Livy and me? Coming here is a mistake.
When he’d received the duke’s summons, Ben had debated putting the other off. However, he could not think of an adequate excuse, especially since his friend would soon be leaving for Scotland. If Strathaven merely wanted to say good-bye, then Ben’s refusal would not only be ill-mannered but would perhaps raise suspicion.
Guilt mangled Ben’s insides as the butler greeted him and led him toward his host’s study. He felt as nervous as a damned schoolboy as he looked for Livy. He both dreaded and hoped that she would come dashing toward him the way she had in her younger days, her green eyes bright with welcome. Her presence had a way of banishing shadows, and given the darkness of the last week, he found himself craving her light.
Today, however, Livy was nowhere to be seen, and her absence tightened the knot of longing, frustration, and confusion in his gut. Pete’s death had been a tragic reminder of how fleeting life could be…and how it should not be wasted. If Ben were to die tomorrow, he knew that his biggest regret would be not making things right with Livy.
Yet how could he restore their special friendship when Livy insisted that she wanted to become his lover?
Just thinking about Livy and the word “lover” in the same sentence sent him spiraling down a forbidden path. For an instant, he felt her curvy bottom rocking against his cock, tasted the sweetness of her lips pressed so innocently against his. Her whispered words emerged from his darkest fantasies:I wanted you to touch me, kiss me. To be with me the way you were with her…
Simultaneously, memories of their friendship flashed through his head. Twelve-year-old Livy, wet and bedraggled, pledging her allegiance to him. Adolescent Livy, playing games and sharing her schoolmiss adventures with him. Searching him out at parties and making sure he was never alone. And Livy of just a year or two ago, keeping him company through her letters, easing his solitude in a way that only she could…
His throat cinched. She was so damned precious to him.
How could he lust after her when he should think of her as a sister? How could he even contemplate corrupting the one person who’d been determined to see the best in him? How could he wake up in the middle of the night, with his cock hard as a pike and his mind filled with torrid fantasies of claiming Livy?
The answer to all of that was simple. He couldnot.
It is good that Livy is leaving for Scotland,he told himself.The absence will help us both. If I am invited to visit, I will make excuses. Surely the months apart will help us both regain our bearings. By then, she will have moved on from her silly tendre and perhaps found a proper suitor. And I…
I will be alone.His chest tightened.As I deserve to be.
Arriving at the study, Ben was ushered in by Strathaven.
“Good afternoon, old boy.” The older man was dressed in a Prussian blue frock coat, his striped silk cravat fashionably knotted. His manner was amiable, with no sign of animosity in his pale-green eyes…thank God. “I have been waiting for you.”
Ben followed the other to the wing chairs by the fire. As he settled into the soft leather, he recalled all the other times they’d reposed here, discussing business and other mutual interests. They shared a similar temperament, being reserved gentlemen who respected the need for privacy.
Strathaven gestured to a cart of refreshments. “Will you take tea or coffee?”
Ben’s illicit thoughts about Livy, coupled with the fact that he was now in her papa’s presence, made him long for something significantly stronger. Strathaven stocked the best whisky, sourced from an ancient distillery in Scotland, but Ben had sworn off drink since his hard-won recovery. Now was not the time to pick up his old bad habits.
“Coffee, please.” Accepting the cup, Ben took a drink of the brew.
“Haven’t seen you of late at the club,” Strathaven said in conversational tones.
“I have been busy.”
Working with Chen to trace the origins of the lethal drug had been a welcome distraction. Ben had spent the last week visiting countless watchmakers, trying to discover the owner of the watch found on Pete’s body, who might also be the source of the drug. Thus far, he’d had no luck.
