“The better question is what areyoudoing.” She peered at him. “Are you in your cups?”
“I’m foxed, all right.” He gave a strange, hoarse laugh. “Wish it were just that, little love.”
Not understanding, she frowned. “What else have you overindulged in?”
He looked at her with those dark, lost eyes. “Life, Livy. I’ve had too much of life.”
“Don’t say that,” she protested. “Life is a gift, and you should be glad you’ve many more years ahead of you.”
“I’m tired,” he whispered.
“Of what?”
“Of running from ghosts. So many of them…” Although his gaze was aimed at her, it was as if he was looking beyond her into some spectral world that only he could see. “One day they will catch up to me and wreak their vengeance.” His lips twisted. “Perhaps they already have. That is why my life is hell…just like I deserve.”
“Why would anyone seek vengeance upon you?” She forced herself to ask the question. “What have you done?”
“Whathaven’tI done?” Anguish slashed deep lines around his mouth. “I’ve committed every sin, little queen. Everything I’ve done commits me to perdition.”
Unable to bear his pain, she sat down on the floor next to him. She didn’t know what he had done. She only knew that he had saved her life and, in the three years since, been a true and steadfast friend.
“Not everything.” She nudged her shoulder gently against his. “You saved my life, remember?”
“You are my one good deed.” His laugh was mirthless. “And as sweet and pure as you are, even you cannot outweigh my sins.”
As he rubbed a fist over his eyes, she noticed he was clutching something.
“What have you got there?” she asked.
He slowly opened his palm, and Livy recognized what lay within. She had helped her mama tie together the bunches of leaves and bright red berries, hanging them in rooms throughout the house in the spirit of Yuletide cheer.
She tilted her head. “Why do you have a sprig of mistletoe?”
“Wanted a kiss from Arabella. But she wouldn’t kiss me…even with this.”
His misery tore at Livy’s heart. She couldn’t fathom why his wife would refuse a kiss. Her own parents kissedallthe time. In fact, her brother Chris had taken to groaning,“Not in front of the children, please.”
“Perhaps she refused because you’re inebriated?” Livy suggested tentatively.
“No, it’s because I’m me. A wreck of a man. Not worth a kiss…not worth anything.” His eyelashes lowered, settling against his cheeks.
Within seconds, he was asleep again.
Livy bit her lip. He looked more relaxed, but she couldn’t leave him here when he was in such a state. Anyone could stumble upon him, and she was certain he wouldn’t want to be found this way.
She pushed his shoulder. “Hadleigh?”
“Hmm?” He didn’t open his eyes.
She spoke directly into his ear. “We need to get you back to your chamber.”
He winced, opening one bloodshot eye. “Too tired.”
“You cannot sleep here, and you are too heavy for me to carry. Get up, and I will support you.”
Grumbling, he managed to get onto his feet, swaying, and she ducked beneath his arm.
“Easy, there,” she said. “I have you. Just lean on me.”
