Unfortunately, Hadleigh did not seem impressed by her worldly knowledge. He bit out an oath and tried to pull his coat over his protruding part…which he could not, since he was wearing a tailcoat. Swearing under his breath, he turned his back to her. His hands braced on his hips, he appeared to be staring out into the distance.
She wondered what he was thinking.
She didn’t have long to wonder. A few moments later, he turned to face her, and it was clear that he had regained control.
“Livy, listen to me.” His voice was stern. “What happened tonight was a mistake. I understand what it is like to be young and impetuous, and while you may think you know what you want, you do not. You are a young lady, with your future ahead of you. One day, you will find a gentleman who is deserving of you and who will give you what you want—but that gentleman is not me.”
Her throat constricted. “Why can’t it be you?”
“I am too old for you, to start with. I have done and seen too much to believe in the kind of love you seek.” He exhaled. “Keep your dreams for the man who will cherish them, who will cherishyou.”
Her pain was a physical thing, a rough tearing in her chest.
“But I don’t want anyone but you,” she whispered. “You are the only man I could ever love. If I can’t have you, then I won’t marry at all.”
He closed his eyes briefly. When his eyelids lifted, Livy found herself staring into sapphires bleeding with darkness.
“That shows how innocent you are,” he said quietly. “You think you know me, but you do not. If you did, you would not want to waste yourself on a man like me.”
“Idoknow you, and I’m not innocent.” Prodded by desperation, she blurted, “I saw you with Lady Foxton.”
He froze, his stillness that of a cornered beast of prey.
In for a penny.
“It was last year at Aunt Bea and Uncle Wick’s house party,” she confessed. “I was looking for you to see if you wanted to play a game. I ended up at the stables.”
A muscle stood out in his jaw, but he said nothing.
“I heard strange noises coming from one of the stalls,” she continued in a rush. “I went over to investigate, and there was a hole in the stall door, so I looked through it and saw you. With Lady Foxton. You had her bent over a bale of hay, her dress lifted up, and you were…spanking her.”
A harsh breath broke from him, and his gaze was grimmer than she’d ever seen it.
“I wasn’t hurting her,” he said roughly. “Not in the way you think.”
“Oh, I know you weren’t,” she reassured him. “Why else would she have been, um, begging you for more?”
His expression was pained. “Goddammit, Livy—”
“Eventually, she pleaded for you to…to do something else to her.”
Livy swallowed. As bold as she was, she couldn’t force herself to say the words that had cemented themselves in her deepest, darkest fantasies.Fuck me, Hadleigh. Put that huge cock of yours inside me. Master me like the splendid beast you are.
“I knew then what I wanted from you,” Livy said, her voice trembling. “I wanted you to touch me, kiss me. To be with me the way you were with her.”
“You donotwant that,” he snapped. “Lady Foxton meant nothing to me, nor I to her.”
“And I do mean something to you?” Livy said hopefully.
“Ah, Livy.” He drew a ragged breath. “You know you do.”
Rejoicing, she said, “Oh, Hadleigh, I knew—”
“You are the sweet little sister I never had. That is how I think of you.”
Each soft word struck her heart like a hammer.
“And that will not change.”
