“Are you certain you’re well?” Jeannette’s voice reminded him of her and Pender’s presence. His old friends were watching him with concerned expressions.
“I’m fine,” he said. “I would like privacy to speak with my wife.”
“Of course, old boy,” Pender said. “Good to see you back.”
As Pender ushered Jeannette to the door, she touched Adam’s arm as she passed.
“Be gentle with her,” she murmured.
Annoyed that she felt he needed that advice, he gave a brusque nod.
Then the two were gone, leaving him alone with his wife. They stood on opposite sides of the table. The tension in the room was thicker than the fog on the Thames.
Gabby’s head tilted. “You remembered them,” she said acutely.
“I remember everything,” he said. “It came back to me. All of it, today.”
He saw relief ripple across her sweet face, the wifely devotion she could not hide despite her anger, and he was filled with profound gratitude. Despite her justified doubt and suspicion of him, she cared about him still. He could work with that.
“Then you will have the grace to explain what is going on.” Her voice quavered with the force of her emotions, yet she held her head high. “Why didn’t you tell me about Mrs. Wilde and your Friday visits?”
Even as he calculated his response, he registered that he wasn’t the only one who’d changed in these past weeks. Gabriella’s new confidence and composure were remarkable. Now that his memory was back, he could fully appreciate the difference between past and present. He saw with pride his wife’s revealed strength, the fire she’d kept hidden from him and herself.
You can trust her to handle the filth of your past, a voice inside him said.Tell her the truth.
As much of it as she needs to know, another voice cautioned.
He pulled a chair out from the table. “Perhaps you’d like to sit for this.”
“I’d like you to tell me the dashed truth,” she shot back.
He gripped the back of the chair. “I didn’t tell you about Jeannette because she’s part of a past that I’m not proud of. It happened a long time ago, before I met you and, as such, has nothing to do with you.”
“Let me be the judge of that.” She narrowed her eyes at him. “Were the two of you ever lovers?”
“Christ, no. I have never thought of her in that way,” he said with emphasis. “She is a friend, nothing more. We have…a shared history that bonds us but not in a sexual way. I have never been unfaithful to you, Gabriella. From the moment I met you, I’ve never wanted any other woman in my bed.”
It was the absolute truth. He saw the yearning in her eyes, how much she wanted to believe him. Yet distrust shadowed those pure blue depths, and it felt like a blow to his gut, one that he deserved.
She lifted her chin. “Then who is Jessabelle?”
Although he knew he would have to address the issue, he still reeled from hearing his wife say the name aloud. For so long, he’d fought to keep these two worlds apart, and now they were crashing into one another like planets gone off course. The damage couldn’t be prevented; the best strategy was to minimize it by giving his wife the necessary facts.
“She was my wife,” he said.
He heard Gabriella’s sharp intake of breath, saw her stiffen with shock.
“You were m-married?” she stammered.
He gave a terse nod. “For a brief time, long before I met you. I was a young man, in my early twenties. I’d known Jessabelle—and her older sister Jeannette—since I was a boy. All three of us were rescued from the streets by the same man, Oswald Garrity. When Garrity found out that I had no family, he gave me his surname and protection. I chose the name ‘Adam’ to symbolize my fresh start.”
Taking in Gabriella’s wide-eyed expression, he decided there was no need to delve into his history before Garrity. His mind wasn’t fully clear, and his emotions were a tangled mess. He thought of De Villier, of meeting the man face-to-face just several days ago, and panic clawed at his gut.
Had De Villier guessed who he was?
Up until then, he’d taken care to avoid direct contact with the bastard; he hadn’t wanted to trip the snare. He had the trap laid out precisely in his head: he would reveal himself to De Villier at the moment of the other’s destruction. Only then would De Villier know why he’d been ruined and by whom.
From the age of nine onward, revenge had anchored Adam. It had motivated him, given him the will to survive and become who he was today. Remembering his purpose was like finding a port in the storm.
