“After Max was born, I fell into a period of doldrums. I was overwhelmed, bursting into tears over the slightest thing. Many men would have run from their wives at that point, but you didn’t.” She gave him a tremulous smile. “Do you know what you did?”
He lifted his brows.
“You made me a schedule.”
“That’s bloody romantic, isn’t it?” he muttered.
“Itwas. That schedule showed me that you were thinking of me, taking care of me. You were attentive to my needs even when I, myself, was not.” The adoration in her eyes halted his breath. “You made sure I ate, slept, took time for leisure. You hired more staff to relieve me of household duties. You even scheduled a time every night when you came into my chamber and we discussed the goings-on of the day and the agenda for the morrow. Even with the demands of running an empire, you have always made time for me.”
His chest tight, he didn’t know what to say.
“And about our Wednesday rendezvous,” she said in a soft yet fierce tone. “While it’s true that I didn’t awaken in your arms, after you made love to me, you always held me until I fell asleep. And I always slept well those nights, feeling your affection and care.”
He wished he’d given her more. Wished he knew why he hadn’t.
But wishes were a waste of time, and a man in love had better things to do.
“From now on, you’ll wake up in my arms every morning,” he said. “And you’ll wake up knowing that you hold my heart. Do you hear me, Gabby?”
“I hear you.” Her shining eyes clogged his throat. “And I love you.”
She tilted her head back, and he took her invitation, sealing their new vows with a kiss.
24
The last dayof their vacation, Gabby went through the manor in search of her husband. Happiness hummed through her as memories of the past four days flitted through her mind. Days and nights of such discovery and intimacy that she’d come to think of this trip as their second honeymoon. Indeed, since they’d never taken a wedding trip—Adam’s business had been too demanding for him to leave London for long—perhaps this counted as their first.
No matter how one counted it, this time with her husband was magical.
Adam had taken her into the village, where they visited the shops looking for presents for Fiona and Max. He’d bought her countless gifts too, including the soft-as-a-cloud blue cashmere shawl she was wearing. When he’d seen her examining the expensive accoutrement at the milliner’s, he’d insisted on buying it for her…in every available color. She’d teased him for overindulging her; he’d murmured in her ear that she deserved to be spoiled, and he planned on pampering her further…in bed.
He’d made good on that promise too.
With each walk through woods, shared meal and, yes, session in bed, she felt the closeness between them growing. She’d shared more with Adam than she’d shared with anyone. Encouraged by his genuine interest, she told him more about her childhood, the feelings of loneliness and isolation she’d experienced. She told him about her father, how much she loved him and tried to be the child he wanted. She’d even told him about her management system for her worries, which he’d seemed to find highly amusing.
He also seemed to enjoy hearing her stories about how she’d met the Kent family and the adventures she’d shared with the intrepid family. When she candidly revealed that he’d been the suspected villain in some of these adventures, his brows rose…and for an instant, she feared she’d offended him. There was such a thing as beingtoohonest.
Then he’d pretended to twirl an imaginary mustache, as if he were some villain from a very bad play, reducing her to giggles. He’d hauled her off as if he were kidnapping an innocent maiden and proceeded to debauch her thoroughly. Of course, she loved it.
Surrounded by the warmth of Adam’s attention, she felt herself unfurling like a flower in the sun. It wasn’t easy to open up, to break old habits, but she was determined to try. The time for hiding had come to an end. Even though Adam insisted that he bore the brunt of responsibility for the previous state of their relationship, she knew she was equally at fault.
Two people lived in a marriage. She saw now that her own lack of confidence and self-worth had contributed to the walls between them. Together, they were tearing down those barriers and rebuilding their union, with love and intimacy as their brick and mortar.
If anything, she wished she could provide the sort of insight to Adam that he’d given to her.
With his amnesia unchanging, she saw him struggle with frustration, with not knowing why he’d done the things he had or what had motivated him to set emotional boundaries in their marriage. To distance himself with schedules and routines. Since she knew so little about his past, she couldn’t tell him either. Not for the first time, she wished she’d been brave enough to dig deeper, to get to the heart of the man she loved.
But as her father had been wont to say,If wishes were horses, beggars would ride.
Wishing wasn’t going to change anything, but actions would. From here on in, she would try to have more confidence in herself. She would ask for what she wanted, work for the relationship she wanted—fight for it, if need be.
A frisson shivered through her as a ghost of the past flitted through her consciousness. It hovered like a moth drawn to the glow of her newfound happiness.
Jessabelle.
Gabby told herself it should no longer matter. She had her husband’s love now, the thing she’d always wanted but had been afraid to ask for. She couldn’t change the past…and Adam couldn’t even remember it. What was the point in bringing up a problem to him that couldn’t be resolved and would only mar the joy of the present?
She told herself she wasn’t hiding; she was just being sensible.
