“I love him.” She dabbed at her eyes. “What if I’ve lost him—who hetrulyis—for good?”
“But he’s here, dear, isn’t he? And doing better day by day.” Reaching over, Emma patted Gabby’s hand. “And pardon my saying, but the changes in him do not sound terrible. Your husband now takes more interest in the children and expresses an attraction to your person. That is no cause for distress, I daresay.”
“Besides, how do you know that thisisn’tthe real Adam Garrity?” Tessa’s head tilted thoughtfully. “Perhaps he secretly thought you were beautiful all along but never said it. Perhaps this new version is the real one and the previous one was fake.”
“Why would he keep his admiration of Gabby a secret?” Emma asked.
“How am I supposed to know?” Tessa shrugged. “I’m not Garrity. I’m just giving him the benefit of the doubt since he got shot doing me a favor.”
“But your hypothesis is even worse,” Gabby said morosely. “For it would mean that I never knew my husband at all.”
As she said the words, she felt a frissonof fear. A chill that snaked up her spine and stirred the hairs on her nape. That ended up as a whisper in her ear.
Jessabelle.
Had sheeverknown her husband? What secrets had he kept from her?
That, she saw with a flash of insight, was the true cost of having walls in her marriage. They provided security and a place to hide, yes…but they also allowed secrets to take root. Doubt and suspicion could flourish in the wake of those secrets, spreading like ivy and overrunning happiness.
“Gabby, you’re so pale,” Emma said. “Are you quite all right?”
“Have some tea, my dear.” Maggie made up a fresh cup and passed it to her.
She took a fortifying sip of the beverage, liberally doctored with sugar and cream. The warmth that flowed through her came not only from the tea but also her friends’ care. Even after all these years, she had to remind herself that she was no longer the outcast she once was. These beautiful, sweet ladies were her friends. Time and again, they’d supported her without judgement.
A few months earlier, after she’d confronted Adam about the fire at The Gilded Pearl and he’d denied having a mistress, she’d confided her suspicions to Emma and Tessa. She’d tried to respect the privacy of her marriage and hadn’t told them everything, only that she feared that her husband had had an intimate connection to a victim of the brothel fire. Talking to them then had helped her to reflect upon matters and allay some of her worries; perhaps it would also help her now.
“I think Adam may have had a mistress,” she said in a quavering voice.
She told them about Jessabelle. And her fear that Jessabelle was the “someone important” who’d perished in the bawdy house fire.
“A name’s not much to go on.” Tessa rubbed her ferret’s belly with contemplative strokes. “Jessabelle could be anyone…even a pet.”
Hearing it from someone else was ever so relieving.
“I thought the name had a rather bovine ring to it,” Gabby said eagerly.
“Not to mention he uttered the name in the throes of a fever. It could mean anything—or nothing.” A line formed between Emma’s brows. “When you asked him about it, he had no recollection of this name?”
“None whatsoever,” Gabby confirmed.
“Then there’s no way of knowing who this Jessabelle is, is there?” Maggie mused.
“Actually, there is one way,” Tessa said.
All eyes turned to her.
“I could find out the names of all who died in the fire. See if there was a Jessabelle.”
“You can do that?” Maggie asked as dread percolated through Gabby.
“I’m the Duchess of Covent Garden,” Tessa said simply. “I can get a complete list of names…if Gabby wants me to.”
“Do you want her to, Gabby?” Emma asked.
It struck Gabby how tired she was. Not just physically, but emotionally. She was tired of hiding from the truth, of living with doubt. She’d come to a crossroads in her marriage: she couldn’t move forward if she was mired in the quicksand of the past.
A part of her feared that she was betraying her husband. Yet wasn’t she betraying their marriage if she had the means to discover the truth and lacked the courage to use it? Besides, if she was to believe in Adam’s vow of fidelity, then this had to be some sort of misunderstanding. If she could clear it up, then the ghost of Jessabelle would haunt their relationship no longer.
