He nodded, his jaw taut.
“I was angry because when my father told me that you had Mr. Isnard in your pocket, I thought you’d married me only to get your hands on Billings Bank. That money and power were what you’d been after all this time, that you’d never really wanted me.”
“That’s not true,” he said vehemently. “Gabriella, I—”
“When I confronted you, I was so angry and hurt that I didn’t bother to askwhyyou wanted my father’s bank; I simply assumed the worst. I attacked you, and that wasn’t fair of me. In retrospect, my reaction wasn’t only about discovering what I felt was a betrayal: it was about my own fear that I wasn’t worthy, that I’d fooled myself into believing that you could be in love with me.”
“Iamin love with you.” Adam’s tone was fierce, unyielding. “That night we fought, I acted like a right bastard. It’s no excuse, but I think I was still reeling from the sudden recovery of my memories…the confusion I felt over who I’d become. I lashed out at your ‘betrayal,’ which is rich when I deceived you first with my underhanded actions. My reaction stems from my own past, my fear of once again being duped by sentiment, the way I’d been fooled by De Villier, Jessabelle, and others.”
“I understand,” she said gently. “Anyone who’d gone through your harrowing journey and survived would feel the same way.”
“By morning, I already realized what a complete arse I’d been. I was on my way to apologize to you. To tell you that I didn’t give a damn about your trust or revenge: if I lost you, then I had nothing. Then the news came that you’d been taken.” He let out a ragged breath. “That was the worst moment of my life, Gabriella. Bar none. Worse than finding Jessabelle dead, worse than everything De Villier has done to me. In those other instances, I could go on, but Gabby…I couldn’t survive without you.”
At her husband’s stark declaration, heat surged behind her eyes. To hear this strong, fearless man say that he couldn’t live without her shook her very foundations, breaking down the remnants of those old, imprisoning walls. Seeing herself reflected in his darkly adoring sultan’s eyes, she knew she was worthy and beautiful. Loved.
“I love you,” she said tremulously.
“Thank Christ,” he said with a hoarse reverence that curled her toes. “You say my journey has been harrowing, but I regret none of it since it brought me to you. You are my reward, and loving you is my true purpose, what gives my life meaning. My heart is yours until it stops beating and beyond.”
Even as she absorbed his words, letting their beauty sink into her marrow, she felt a shiver.
“Don’t even talk about your heart not beating,” she whispered. “When I think about how close I’ve come to losing you…oh, heavens, I almost forgot. De Villier, thatbastard, told me that he hired an assassin to shoot you during the battle with Sweeney. He caused your wound, your amnesia.”
“I know. Livingston told me during the boat ride back. He apologized for not discovering that plot and the one to kidnap you before they happened.”
“It’s not his fault. When I think about all the evil De Villier has done—”
“Don’t think about it.” Adam brought her into the shelter of his body once more, stroking her hair. “I’m here. We’re both here. Together as we’re meant to be.”
When she finally calmed, she lifted her head to look at her husband. The lines had eased from his handsome face, his eyes warm and intent as he regarded her. Was it her imagination or did he look younger, more at peace?
“Do you still feel confused about who you’ve become since the amnesia?” she asked.
“No,” he said immediately. “Tonight helped me to realize that who I am now is who I’ve been becoming since I first met you. By taking away my past, the amnesia took away my blinders, allowing me to see that revenge, the goal I’d worked toward all my life, wasn’t really what I needed. When De Villier died, I thought I’d feel something…some sort of resolution. And do you know what I felt?”
“What, darling?”
“Nothing. He had no power over me, nothing I wanted.Youhave already given me everything I need: the peace I’d been searching for was mine all along.” Adam’s eyes eclipsed all else, burning into her soul, melding them as one. “I started falling in love with you the moment we met, but I was too stupid to realize it. Too afraid to open my heart. De Villier told me once that a powerful man isn’t blinded by sentiment, but he was wrong. A man ismadepowerful by the love of a good woman and the love he gives her in return.”
“Oh, Adam,” she said tearfully, “that is the most romantic thing you’ve ever said to me.”
Tenderly, he thumbed away her tears. “More romantic thanyour sultan commands it?”
She gave a watery giggle. “That comes as a close second. You should have seen how mortified poor Mr. Murray was when he gave me the message.”
“I knew my brave and loyal queen would insist on staying otherwise.”
“I’ll always be by your side,” she promised.
“On my lap is even better.” His arms circled her, his eyes holding her just as securely. “I may be your master, but you own me, Gabby. I’m yours, every part of me: my heart, my soul…and other assorted wicked parts.”
“I love you and all your wicked parts.” She wriggled against him, smiling when she felt his virile response. “After we get home and give the children a good snuggle, I’ll show you how much.”
“How about a sampling of it now?”
“Is this my sultan’s wish?”
“Yes. Love me, Gabriella.” His eyes smoldered. “Don’t ever stop.”
