“I’ve done many things I’m not proud of.” His eyes darkened. “But I’ve never to my knowledge dallied with a virgin. And the fact that I did so with you and didn’t even realize—”
“Because I didn’t act like a virgin, did I?” She squirmed at the memory of her wantonness. “I went with you, and we didn’t even get to the bed…”
“My God.” His eyes shut. “Your first time. Against a bloodydoor.”
“It was fine,” she said quickly. “I, um, enjoyed it. Didn’t you?”
His lashes lifted, revealing his glowering stare. “That’s hardly the point, Maggie mine. It’s notrightfor your first time.”
Now that the truth was out, she felt lighter. Relieved. While she appreciated that Rhys clearly felt responsible for their tryst—and was reassured by the respect he expressed for her—she was ready to move on.
“Regardless, it happened, and we are where we are,” she said prosaically. “Now about London—"
“Maggie, you’ve paid a heavy price because of me,” he went on in a determined manner. “While I admire your strength and courage more than I can say, I want you to know that you’re no longer alone. From here on in, I will take care of you and Glory. I will see that you want for nothing ever again.”
Wariness crept over her. She extricated herself from his arms. Took a step back.
“Howwill you take care of us?” she asked. “What exactly are you offering, Rhys?”
A heartbeat passed. A muscle in his jaw leapt.
“If I could offer you marriage, I would,” he said. “But I cannot.”
Rhys thought he could not hate himself more. But he was wrong.
Seeing the pain darken Maggie’s eyes, he cursed himself for being a bastard. “Maggie—”
“No, it’s all right. It’s what I expected.” Her smile was as taut as a steel wire as she gestured first to him, then to herself. “You’re a duke; I’m me. Of course marriage isn’t a possibility.”
“My rank has nothing to do with—”
“You don’t have to explain. In all fairness, you were clear about the terms of our affair from the start,” she said as if he hadn’t spoken. “At any rate, I have no need to marry again. I have my independence, the means to support myself and my daughter.”
“Ourdaughter.”
“She doesn’t have to be.” Maggie’s cool correction slithered down his spine. “She had a doting papa in my husband. To the world, she is a gentleman’s daughter. Better that than an unwanted bastard.”
“I do want her. I wantyou.” Even as his chest knotted with frustration, hefeltthe truth of his words. For the first time, the notion of a family didn’t make him feel as if he were about to be buried alive. Instead, it felt...right. “But I can’t be a father or a husband if I’m a dead man. Until I resolve my debts with Garrity and Sweeney, I cannot, in good faith, make you an honorable offer.”
“I understand.”
He could tell she didn’t, so he cut to the chase. “Newton has found an American heiress. If I fail to find the treasure, I’ll have to barter my title for a dowry. To undertake a marriage of convenience, for that is all that it would be.”
He saw the truth sink in. She wrapped her arms around her waist.
“I will not be the mistress of a married man,” she said in trembling tones.
“I would not ask you to be.” The fact that she believed he would demean her in that fashion made his gut clench. “I know that if I have to marry someone else, I will lose you forever. Regardless, I want you to know that I would provide for you and Glory financially.”
“I don’t need your money.”
Pride burned in her like an eternal flame. And he knew that if he lived to be old and grey, he would still never meet another woman with her mettle. With her indomitable spirit.
A duchess’s spirit.
“I know you don’t, but you’ll have it anyway. Christ,” he said in frustration, “I wish I could give you more. If I could, I would give you everything.”
She gnawed on her lip. “If it weren’t for the debt, you’d truly want to marry me?”
