“I know.” Her despair grew.
“But perhaps that’s not the only explanation for his recent behavior,” her sister-in-law went on. “Perhaps it’s not your love that he’s reacting so badly to. Or not entirely that, anyway.”
“What else could it be?” she said miserably.
Marianne’s expression was pensive. “Ambrose mentioned that Tremont was quite forceful in the way he took Heath down. As if he were possessed by some inner demons. Ambrose said he had to stop Tremont from killing the man and that, afterward, Tremont seemed shaken and withdrawn. Not at all himself.”
Gabriel’s words echoed in Thea’s head.I wanted to put espionage behind me, to never spill another’s blood again.Understanding began to spread like sensation returning to a limb that had fallen asleep.
With prickling awareness, she said, “What he was forced to do during the war eats at him. He may seem stoic, but guilt festers inside him. To come face to face with that time in his life, to re-experience that betrayal and horror…”
Dear God, is this why he’s been so distant? So cold?
Marianne gave her an intent look. “Be that as it may, your brother wanted to make sure that you are safe.”
“Safe?” Thea said, blinking.
Marianne gave a firm nod. “In a physical sense.”
“Tremont would never hurt me physically. If anything, he’s overprotective.” Thea pursed her lips. “Emotionally, however, he may drive me mad. He hasn’t spoken a word about his capture of Heath. I’ve tried to ask him what the matter was, but all he’ll say is that he’s fine.”
Emma snorted. “If I had a penny for every time I heard that from His Grace, I’d be richer than Croesus.”
“What you’ve told me explains so much, Marianne.” A wave of hope surged through Thea as she saw the situation through a new lens. “If only Tremont had talked to me. If I had known, I wouldn’t have pushed… wouldn’t have gotten so frustrated. Perhaps we wouldn’t have fought…”
“You mustn’t take the blame, dear,” Em said crisply. “You can’t read his mind.”
Thatwastrue. Thea gnawed on her lower lip. “I just wish I hadn’t brought up his wife. That wasn’t well done of me at all.”
“Are you having second thoughts, dear?” Marianne said quietly. “Because if you are, we will support—”
“No.” Thea’s feelings suddenly clarified. Things between her and Gabriel were far from perfect, but as long as the possibility of love remained, there was hope. “I want to marry Tremont. I love him.”
“And if he’s not able to give you his love in return?” Em said. “What then?”
The truth blazed.
“That’s the risk I’ll have to take,” she said.
It was calledfallingin love for a reason, she realized. There was no guarantee of safety. One could gaze out longingly from one’s window in a tower… or take the jump.
Chapter Thirty-Three
That evening, Gabriel broodingly watched the gaiety going on around him. Kent and his wife were throwing him and Thea an informal engagement party, and he was struck by a sense of unreality as he observed his betrothed’s laughing, boisterous kin. Their warm affection, the way they bantered back and forth so freely with one another… he’d never known families such as this existed.
His own parents had led separate lives. Papa had been off whoring or gambling, whilst Mama had spent hours praying, presumably to make up for her husband’s sins. Gabriel had a faint impression of his mother emerging from her cocoon.You mustn’t dirty Mama’s dress, she’d say in her cool, lilting voice. She would flutter out of reach like a beautiful butterfly whose wings must never be touched.
Much like… Sylvia.
He frowned as he made that connection for the first time. His first wife, too, had shied away from open affection. Visits with Freddy had been formal, conducted twice daily: a half-hour after breakfast and a half-hour before supper. She and Gabriel had taken their meals separately from their son; with a twinge, he recalled how stilted their conversations had become, the two of them dining at the opposite ends of an empty table.
Presently, the Kents were arranged with haphazard coziness on the furniture or on the carpet in front of the merrily burning hearth. Harry, the brother Gabriel had met for the first time that evening, had started off the festivities with a demonstration of his latest scientific creation: a batch of invisible ink. The vial of liquid was a clear, light pink that was nearly colorless; when Harry wrote a sentence on a piece of parchment, the paper appeared blank and untouched. When he held it near the flame of a lamp, however, his message appeared as if by magic:
Things are not as they appear.
After a resounding round of applause, Harry explained the chemical mechanism behind the mysterious ink. Ruefully, Gabriel thought Harry’s invention would have come in handy back in his espionage days. The younger Kents were tickled to pieces… and Freddy, too. When Harry presented the boy with a small vial of ink, Freddy’s eyes turned as big as saucers. He took the bottle as reverently as if it were the crown jewels.
As soon as the demonstration was done with, the boy plopped down on the carpet with Polly, Primrose, and Edward. The four proceeded to play a game involving a great quantity of sticks and even more hilarity. As Freddy whooped with joy when he successfully removed a stick without disturbing the pile, Gabriel could scarcely credit the change in his once timid son.
