Mama’s question made Rosie blink. Her heart began to thud. “I… don’t know.”
“Well, I met that woman fourteen years ago, and I’d give her more than a decade on Corbett,” Mama said bluntly. “Which means that she was at least twenty-five when she began an affair with a fifteen-year-old. A boy only months older than your brother is now. So you tell me: do you think love is the true explanation for why he got tangled in her web?”
The realization slammed into Rosie—and made herill. She hadn’t even thought of the age difference between Kitty and Andrew at the start of their relationship. Of how vulnerable he must have been back then. How easily he could have been preyed upon by an experienced bawd. One who’d not only taken him to her bed butsold his servicesto others.
His words suddenly surfaced from two nights ago.I knew it wasn’t right… it never was… I tried to end it… I don’t know why I let her back in…
Rosie’s heart splintered. Becausesheknew why he’d let Kitty back.
It was the same reason she’d tried to win theton’s approval. The same reason she’d made all those stupid mistakes over and over again and made the worst of one of all by marrying Daltry. The same reason she’d beenafraidof falling in love with Andrew—the best thing that had ever happened to her.
She doubted her own self-worth… as Andrew doubted his.
“Andrew couldn’t rid himself of Kitty,” she said in a pained whisper, “because he didn’t think he deserved any better.”
“Knowing what I do of that woman,” Mama said, her eyes hard, “I am certain she had tactics for keeping him under her thumb. For taking advantage of his good character.”
It killed Rosie to think that Kitty had gotten her claws into Andrew. And it killed her even more to realize that she hadn’t seen it. How similar she and Andrew were. How, beneath his powerful self-possession and all his success, he harbored his own insecurities… even as he’d worked toward curing hers. He’d made her feel cherished, beautiful—never dirty or damaged. And what had she given him in return?
With throbbing remorse, she realized that she, in her own way, had also taken advantage of Andrew’s noble nature. After all he’d done for her, protecting her,lovingher, she hadn’t even given him a chance to explain. Instead, she’d doubted him, blamed him for not rescuing her from Kitty—when he’d, in truth, been little more than a boy himself. A victim of the circumstances just as she’d been.
She understood that now.
“Oh, Mama,” she said fitfully, “I’ve treated Andrew so shabbily!”
“Your reaction is understandable.” Mama’s eyes were overly bright. “Because of the mistakes I made, you didn’t have security or love for the first eight years of your life. Is it any wonder that Kitty’s appearance would trigger your fears of abandonment—of being betrayed?”
“The past is not your fault, Mama.” Keeping her sister in the crook of her arm, Rosie reached for her mother’s hand and squeezed it. “You always did your best by me, and you’ve taught me to be strong. I couldn’t have wished for a better mother,” she said sincerely. “I love you, and I’m sorry I don’t say it often enough.”
“Dearest.” A tear trickled down Mama’s cheek.
“And thank you for helping me figure out what I need to do next.”
“What is that?”
“I have to apologize to Andrew—and listen to what he has to say.” Rosie swallowed. “But I think… I think the past doesn’t matter any longer. Because I love him, Mama. If he can forgive me for all my mistakes, then surely I can do the same for him.”
“My little girl, all grown up.” Mama laid a hand on her cheek.
Sophie chose that moment to wake up, her rosebud mouth puckering into a howl.
“Good thing you still have another,” Rosie said ruefully.
She rose, rocking her sister and humming a tune. The crying turned to gentle cooing.
“You’re a natural with her, you know.” Mama’s smile had an edge of wistfulness. “Soon you’ll be ready for a child of your own.”
The thought of having a babe—Andrew’s babe—made Rosie’s heart thump but not with panic. For the first time, the idea of motherhood seemed almost… desirable.
Cuddling her sister, she said with feeling, “Andrew and I have a lot to iron out before that.”
“The important thing is that you know you love him. I didn’t realize what your papa meant to me until it was almost too late.”
“So that is why my ears are burning,” came Papa’s voice.
He entered the sitting room, Edward following behind. Both were attired in fashionable garb that set off their lean, lanky figures and handsome dark looks—though Edward’s cravat was, as always, slightly askew. Papa’s amber gaze went to Rosie; yesterday, he’d given her a wide berth, and she knew he was trying to gauge her present state.
She gave him a tremulous smile. “Mama was just telling me what you mean to her.”
