“Yeah, Roger. Just having a heart to heart with my boy.”
“I want to fucking kill you.” I admit and walk towards him.
“Hey, back off him.” Roger shouts taking another step forward. His hand touches my shoulder, and I shake it off, stepping into James’ face, his stale breath coming in heaves.
“You’re goading me, but you see, we’re nothing alike. I may want to kill you; I may want to punch and kick you until you can do nothing but piss in a bag. But I’ve got self-control. I knowwhen to walk away. Maria told me about you, you’re drinking yourself into an early grave because you don’t want cancer to kill you. Is that why you were always such a cunt? Thought the world owed you, thought we owed you. We could have helped you; we could have supported you. But no, you decided to walk it alone. You decided to become the monster.”
I look around the pub, my voice rising.
“James Caulder, my dad, the wife beater, kid beater, pervert. Yet I’m the fucking criminal. I never want to see you again, if I hear you’ve been anywhere near Maria, or Lucy—”
“If she’s still alive.”
“I’ll kill you. Say you understand me.”
He doesn’t say anything, so I grip his shirt again, and pull back my arm.
“Alright, alright. You have my word.”
“Your word means shit. But I’ll be watching. Every move, every step, every drink. I’ll have eyes on you.”
I let go of his shirt and push him, he falls over the chair, it topples to the side as he lands in a heap on the floor.
“Take care, Dad.” I sneer before turning my back to him, turning my back on my past, and walk out the pub focused on finding my future.
Her.
41
Lucy - Age 18
“Youready,littleone?”
I glance across at Andrews, who sits behind the wheel of the BMW X5 that sits idle in a dark alley, tucked to the side of the Old Crow pub.
It’s throwing out time.
It’s time to face my past and put Lucy Cook behind me, along with my demons.
“I’m ready.” My voice is strong, steady, my heart beat normal. Nothing about my demeanour screamsmurderer.But that’s what I’m about to become.
A murderer. To murder him.
Murder the man who took so much from me.
I’ve been with Andrews for two years.
Two years of recovering, two years of training, two years of becoming Kara Snow. But I can’t truly embrace my future unless I let go of my past.
Which is why I’m sitting here, in the darkened alley, in the idling car.
To bury my past.
To say goodbye to Owen and Lucy.
James falls out of the pub, his laughter rich and obnoxious. We’ve sat here before, in this very spot. He’ll cross the road, he’ll take out his shrivelled cock, and he’ll take a piss before he zig zags his way back to his flat, where he passes out.
I’ve stood over him whilst the fuck sleeps soundly, whilst he twitches and dribbles into his pillow. I’ve been watching, waiting for this moment.
