Her eyes track down me, as if she’s waiting to pass judgment on my outfit.
A bitter scoff tears out of me. My throat tightens as tears threaten. “Like you give a fuck. You haven’t cared about me since the second we landed here. You’re lucky, Hallie and her dad took me in.”
She shakes her head, stepping closer, and my skin prickles in warning.
“No. You aren’t welcome in my solace.” I lift my hand between us, palm out. “I haven’t seen you since…”
The word lodges in my chest. I swallow hard, my stomach rolling. “What do you want? Another husband to introduce me to? Is he going to try to rape me, too?”
The words scorch on the way out.
She flinches like I struck her. “I couldn’t stop him. He hurt me, too.” She whispers, glancing down at the floor too.
My first thought is that she's lying. That night, before the show started, she was happy to parade him around like he was a God. That we should all be grateful he was there.
A laugh rips out of me, and my fingers curl into fists at my sides. “So you thought, what a lovely man to introduce to my daughter. What a man to let out of my sight while she’s getting changed. A great guy who locks the door and ties?—”
“Stop!” she screams, slamming her hands over her ears.
“You don’t want to hear it,” I snarl. “I have to see it every time I close my fucking eyes.”
My chest burns. My pulse pounds in my throat.
“You walk into the place I built, the only place I’ve ever felt safe, and what? Apologize? Too fucking late.” I seethe.
Tears spill down her cheeks. “H-he died that night.”
I might hit her.
“Good.” My voice goes ice cold. “I hope it was fucking painful.”
The air between us vibrates. Wind brushes my flushed cheek, sharp against the heat radiating from my skin. “Leave, Mom. I’m doing just fine without you.”
She steps back, and relief loosens something in my ribs. Then she holds out a card for a cleaning company in Ohio.
“Are you still dancing around with that stupid cult?” I ask, throwing the card behind me without looking.
Her jaw tightens. “It wasn’t stupid. It gave me purpose.”
I scoff. “And being a mom didn’t?”
Silence answers me. Just like I thought. “Why did you even bring me here if you didn’t want me?”
She shoves her hand into her coat pocket. “You’ve had a good life. Nice gallery. Nice home.”
“Sure.”
“If you change your mind. Maybe lunch. I’ll be staying a couple of hours away for a few weeks. Call the number on that card.” She sounds so weak. So sad. Like she’s defeated.
My stomach drops. “Doubtful,” I say flatly. “But thanks for checking I’m alive.”
I smile. It feels wrong on my face. She doesn’t even deserve fake smiles from me.
As I move to close the door, she presses her hand against it. “I really am sorry, Lily.”
For a split second, it almost sounds real.
Five years too late.
