Not with hospital walls around me and the weight of my father’s life hanging in the air like a storm cloud.
“I need to pee, Drago,” I whisper before we turn the corner.
The twins stop behind us as Drago turns to face me.
“You wanna do it here?” he asks.
I open my mouth and snap it shut. “Yes. No. I don’t know. I’m scared to walk in that door and see him. I want to knowif we’re really having a baby. But, I don’t want to do it without you.”
A small smile twitches on his lips, and he strokes my cheek.
“Okay. Let me go in and see Lev, and you go to the bathroom. Do the test, but can you wait for me to find the result?”
He knows I need more time to breathe. And I want to give him a minute alone with my dad. I know this is hitting him hard. Lev is like family to him, too.
I nod. “I can do that.”
He kisses me softly. “Go pee on the stick, baby,” he whispers against my lips.
I hiccup a laugh.
As I push open the door, I start to pace the bathroom like a caged animal while the twins wait outside like my replacement bodyguards.
My hands shake as I pull the box from my bag.
It feels wrong. Like I’m tempting fate. Like I’m stealing hope when I haven’t earned it.
“Come on, Lily,” I whisper to myself. “Just do it.”
I force myself to breathe in. Then out. Then I push open the packet.
And I do it. I pee on the damn stick just like Drago asked, because I need to know the answer. I need something that we can both cling to for hope.
I put the lid back on, and I don’t look at the result; I don’t wait for it either. I slide it back into the box and tuck it into my bag like it’s something fragile. Something sacred. Something that might change everything.
I plaster on a smile as I leave the bathroom, the twins falling into step behind me without a word.
By the time we reach my dad’s private room, organized by Finn, my stomach is tight with nerves.
I can hear Drago’s deep voice through the glass. Speaking in Russian. A raw brokenness to his voice that hurts me. “I’m going to marry your daughter, Lev,” he tells him quietly. “And I really need you to wake up so you can be at our wedding.”
My heart slams.
I blink back tears so fast it burns. I want nothing more than to marry Drago. But I also want my Dad to come back to us first.
Dad looks so weak. I’ve never seen him like this. A reminder that we’re all human. That in a matter of seconds, your life can end.
Time is valuable.
He missed most of my life… but I’ll always be grateful for the past few weeks. Getting to spend time with him. Getting to know the real man beneath everything else.
And I love him. I always have. Even when I hated him. Even when I didn’t understand him. And right up until the end, he did what he could to protect me.
I push the door open, forcing myself to wear my brave face, and Drago turns immediately. His expression softens the second he sees me, even with bloodshot eyes and day-old stubble and the exhaustion carved into his bones.
“Are the doctors saying anything?” I ask as I approach him.
He shrugs, then shifts back in the chair so I can sit on his lap like it’s the most natural thing in the world. Like he needs to feel my weight there to remind himself I’m real.
